Thoughts Unlocked

He shields his old eyes from the harsh rays of the afternoon Sun.The rays punish his wrinkled dark skin as if spiked with sarcasm."You are at my mercy and no one can protect you". He scans the horizon only to find the familiar sight of golden brown withering semblances of a sugarcane field.The soil feels lifeless; ashamed of its failure.His feet hurt.But he ignores it as he has done all his life.Pain is familiar.And what you are familiar with, you learn to live with it.

He opens his lunch,slowly peeling away the layers of the faded red cloth which houses his meal.Maybe with the hope that its content will last longer.False hopes, meant to protect him against the harsh reality.He looks at his meal of a single Ragi ball and a few shreds of coconut.He wants to break down and cry.But he is not even allowed that.Tears,it seems have an expiry date. His is way past.He eats.Alone.In silence.

The Sun finally takes pity.Winds commence their daily task of enveloping mankind with optimism.He gets up and grunts.His old,twisted bones resist.

The path is narrow but he has done this everyday,all his life.It opens into a clearing with a banyan tree standing in it's full glory.His weary eyes rest on the small brick structure; red,orange,white,triangular,square.He smiles for the first time since the break of dawn.His pace is hastened, pulse increased and he is breathing deeply.Probably feeling alive,again.

He bows down.The clean floor feels cool and refreshing.He thanks his lord for blessing him with another day.He asks for nothing.Sits at his favorite spot, watching the setting Sun ,hearing the chirping of birds returning home and humming his lord's name...

Nihilist: The world is pointless. It means nothing .It is here only because of an explosion that happened billions of years ago. There is no higher purpose, no aim and no final relevant end to humankind’s existence on earth.

The Dude: Huh… What were you saying again? By the way, this white Russian is marvelous. Cheers

Nihilist: I am saying that God is dead. There is no one to guide us. Also there is no free will, only what we are conditioned to do over time. Thus we can’t know what is good or evil. Thus all morality is baseless. How can we live in such a world?

The Dude: Yeah I get what you are trying to say. It is all due to the bloody government. They got the country into the useless war in the 60’s. I always said it was a shitty thing to get into but nobody listened. See, now it is so difficult for me to score my grass…

Nihilist: Yes, the government, the church. Everyone. They want to mislead us into thinking and believing that what they preach and want us to adhere to means something and is important. But it is not. It means nothing.

The Dude: Although the quality of milk you get these days has improved. What brand of milk did you put in this one?
Nihilist: We need to give meaning to our lives. We need to reject all that is thrust upon us. But then whatever meaning and purpose we give will again conform in a way to what was and is imposed on us. Since there is no free will. So it is hopeless. I am doomed, mankind is doomed. As the great philosopher said, it is the greatest crisis of humankind. There is no escape. There are no answers. There is no solution.

The Dude: What is the problem man! Everything OK with you?
Nihilist: Were you even listening to what I was saying?

The Dude: Sorry but I am kind of high right now. Still I got most of what you were trying to say. Here is what I feel. You see, I knew all this way back. Now, you can either go on thinking and fretting and doing your sad philosopher routine over and over again. Or you can choose to ‘Take it easy’.

You can either try, in vain, to find some higher meaning in life or go with the flow and enjoy what you can and when you can. When it is a given that all this world means nothing, then live your life that way you want to. Don’t conform to any rules or traditions or hierarchies or class or money or power. If you try to change the system then again you are trying to force your rules on someone else like you. So don’t do that. Make your own rules, ignore all the bullshit going on in the world and live your life as you want to.

What you call meaninglessness I call freedom. I need not pretend to be someone I am not. Earn money that I don’t need, starve myself to have an athlete’s body since I need not impress anyone, preach since I don’t believe in anything or anything worth telling others.

Chill man. Take a sip of this fabulous White Russian you made. Observe, enjoy the dance of Life and have a damn good time while you are here . Cheers !!!

P.S: Dedicated to all the Dudes of the world , especially S.C \m/

Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing…... (Macbeth), William Shakespeare

I praise, I do not reproach, [nihilism's] arrival. I believe it is one of the greatest crises, a moment of the deepest self-reflection of humanity. Whether man recovers from it, whether he becomes master of this crisis, is a question of his strength. It is possible. . . . (Complete Works Vol. 13) ,Nietzsche

When I am having fun or am engaged in too many things it becomes difficult to break through the huge barrier of my lethargy and move the muscles to actually write something. The bother to my writing neurons in the left side and creative ones on the right side was also too much .So here is a small thank you note to both sides for playing along. This won’t be long and so you can go back to your aimless wanderings through my past, future and maybe present as and when your whims so desire.

Bangalore was awesome, both in the absolute sense and to a degree due to the base effect. My certain not so great experiences last time, mostly with respect to basic survival and human needs, had put a sort of an apprehension in my mind. Anyways I can state that barring the traffic/pollution/ PG Accommodation all was well. Especially the Auto situation seems to have improved.

The best thing was the company of some of my best friends’ .Thus all the drudgery associated with your Job is nullified over the weekend (Well technically I just had the Sunday, Yeah Sales Job: What to do) It was as green and beautiful as always and I can officially declare that Bangalore is the greenest Big City in India.

Plus I can never ever thank the city (and Mysore) enough for changing the course of my Career. Whenever I used to pass by Baldwin Boy’s School the (now) sweet memories of writing CAT 2008, after that hilarious and awkward incident which just about annihilated my chances of even writing the exam, came gushing in. Not only my career but certain higher and for me more important callings in Life. Thanks for taking me in and treating me well :)

Move over to Bijapur where I am writing this post while staring at the funnily colored but cheerful orange wall of my room. To me all small towns in India look and feel the same. So move over regionalists, this is my country and my people. I am as comfortable here as I would be in Sitapur.

The best part is that I actually am on the road (in a rickety Bus) for more than 60% of my Office Hours. And I love it. Maybe it is the weather which is not as great as Bangalore but becomes pleasant often enough to make me smile. Or the sheer joy it is to look at Bright sunflower fields in full bloom smiling back at me. Today it was the corn and sugarcane fields which radiated hope and prosperity. Crossing over the River Krishna reminds me of my childhood drives to Ghaghra River from Lucknow. The coconut and palm trees, irrigation canals, sporadic showers, blinding white Dhoti Kurta attire of villagers , birds flying across the green hills … It all adds to the magic!!!

Socrates actually understood that death is not the end.To him his belief was more important that the whims of men , abiding by which he could have lived.... He lived life of the basest beggar but died richer , beyond the imagination of any mortal man.... I hope he got what he sought in his next life...

Existentialism refers to the works of 19th and 20th century philosophers which broadly seeks to emphasize on the individual and how he/she seeks to understand his/her existence is this world. Thus individuals throughout their lives make choices and decisions and thus define who they are. The core of human existence is to find meaning in their lives and identify themselves in this world. Thus „Existentialism „seeks to analyze and understand human existence.

According to Walter Kaufmann, Existentialism is a body cover that writers put for philosophy against traditional philosophy. Existentialism as theory defines the freedom available to mark dissatisfaction against traditional philosophy as superficial, academic, and remote from life. It supports the idea of not being associated with any particular school of thought, beliefs and systems. It is a timeless sensibility that can be discerned and can be sustained protest and preoccupation.

One of the grounding principles in existential thought is that reason cannot be the only basis for human identity. It‟s only our work and we ourselves define what we are as human beings. Existentialism is referred to as a reaction to a secularised world; where role of religion, morals, purpose, virtues and universal truth are minimal. Existentialism made an effort to describe the implications and possibilities of the foundation less world.

According to existentialism what is "good" for us cannot be determined and so we must be the founder of our own values and projects. Radical sovereignty comes with radical failure and we must be prepared to deal with both.

This cannot be done solely on the basis of Sciences like biology, physics, psychology et al. Nor can existence be understood by adding the concept of morality to science or taking recourse in the concepts of God, nation, authority , tradition, work et al. Existence is something more, something that might change from individual to individual. Man thus exists first and then he seeks to define himself in this world. Rather than Man being predefined or Man being a fully described model of a „Human‟. This responsibility of his own existence leads to „Angst‟.

Existentialism also stands for the free will, ability to make choices and responsibility of his choices/actions of Man. Thus Man is free to choose and decide how he interprets the world and what choices he makes. But at the same time he is wholly responsible for his choices. He is the one who bears the burden of his actions and cannot blame society, laws, ethics, culture et al for making him do things and their future consequences. Personal responsibility and accountability is stressed upon.

Another important thought is the „Absurdity‟ of this world. Existentialism begins with the realization that the world is not totally rational and is ambiguous. Thus, it is not an easy job to find the meaning of one‟s existence in such a distorted world. The concept of Facticity also is an important concept. Basically it means that Man is free with respect to his present and future but he does carry the burden of his past. Thus he can do whatever he wishes to do keeping his past existence and its consequences in mind. Freedom is always there but only within the range of what is allowed by the results of his actions in the past for which he is totally accountable.

„Authenticity and Inauthenticity‟ are related to the actions performed by Man. Thus man should be authentic in his behavior which essentially means that he should act and make choices so as to be what he is. He has to act keeping in mind that he is free. Inauthentic behavior on the other hand means when a person behaves so as to meet or confer to certain rules or standards or tries to ape somebody or concept and thus forgoes his freedom. When he acts believing that he is constrained due to lack of choices and thus can blame reasons external to his self for his behavior.

Existentialists as a rule were against „Rationalism and Positivism‟. The basis of this treatment is that the world is irrational and the concept that human beings are rational creatures. Adhering to rationalism leads to suppression of individual freedom and thus leads to anxiety. If one seeks to give a meaning to his world, he can do only when he let goes of reason. This is the only way to exist and find meaning in life is through deciding and assigning meaning to one‟s life. This cannot be achieved through pure rationalism and the person who tries to do so will forever be lost, in despair and will not be able to succeed.

The existentialist thought was shaped by a number of philosophers but among them Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Heidegger and Sartre stand out. The thoughts of various existentialist thinkers vary vastly. Thus it is difficult to come up with one exact definition of existentialism. Still, the concept of individual human existence and absurdity of the world (to an extent) seems common in all their thoughts.

The existentialist movement was hugely popular during the post war era primarily due to its focus on freedom of the individual and partly because of the strong views and literary works of various existentialist thinkers.

Location : Central Hyderabad

The city looked so much like Lucknow as i zigzagged through the rowdy Hyderabad morning traffic sitting on the back of my sales officer's bike. My 1st day making sales calls and i could not have asked for a better weather.

The best thing was the use of Hindi , albeit mixed with telegu and the typical Hyderabad accent which took some time to get used to. So a 'nahi' becomes a 'nakka' here. Also the address of retailers as 'anna', 'seth'.

The high point of the day was when we discussed the 'Snake' which had landed at my SO's home while sipping on hot yet amazingly refreshing Irani lemon and mint tea.It's apparently a common sight in the locality where he lives near osmania university which is shrouded by vegetation.

The snake charmers do brisk business charging 200 Rs for each catch and then pocketing the allowance given by the forest department to bring in the catch or by eating/skinning the snake. The latter seems more like a conspiracy theory as suggested by a retailer. But you never know , India was considered the snake charmer's land for nothing.

Yeah, my journey in sales has begun.It's back to Karnataka after 2.5 years. I hope this stint proves as fruitful and lucky for me as the last one which practically changed the entire course of my life.

P.S: The food is awesome here, specially paradise biryani :)

I woke up to the sight of a pristine lake set amidst old conifers grazing past my window. “You are now entering Norway and leaving the European Union. Please keep your passports handy for security check”. The police woman greeted me amicably and wished me a pleasant stay. I got down at the next idyllic station with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. The station was all but a small cabin meant for the station master and I could see the village through the entrance.

Cut back to the next day, I was walking on the international highway with cars zipping beneath me at 100 miles an hour and the Fjords visible across the horizon. I was kind of lost. It was pretty apparent, as the kind lady came over and gave me directions in as much English as she knew.

The next day I was roaming around Oslo at 5 in the morning with glassy mist shrouding the city. I went to parks and monuments and sculpture gardens with no care about my safely. Why would I. It was Norway after all. The most developed country and among the richest and safest in the world. Good times, no worries and sparkling life long memories.

Two days ago the Sunday Times headline read “Terrorist strike in Norway”. I was in utter disbelief. It rapidly turned to sadness and my first reaction was “At least let some places free from all the mindless bloodshed”.

Somehow we have sadly come to accept bomb blasts as part of life in India. But the above incident made my conviction even stronger. We really have nothing in our control when it comes to security. Be it any place, any situation. The reason is simple. You can have all the control and precautions in place. But how can you stop a ‘human mind’ with its conviction, whims, madness and bitterness from exploding. How can you judge that the person sitting next to you in your office, bus, with which you interact, buy stuff et al is not going to explode? Just imagine the activation mechanism of a nuclear bomb in the hands of a madman and how his one flick can change the course of millions of people.

Is there any protection against that one Human bomb who can be anyone among the billions who tread this earth? I am not saying that we should start looking at adversity and begin to see people who are out to kill us at each juncture. All that I have personally realized is that Human Life is so fragile and vulnerable. We think and act so as to feel that we are in control but who are we really kidding on an absolute level?

Just a last thought. In the utterly sad Mumbai attacks a few weeks back an unlucky person was found dead with 10 lottery tickets on him. Just to say, how small our Big plans for life become when fate strikes that fatal blow.

Here goes :

Read in recent times:

Interview with the vampire : As poetic as a gory vampire story can get.

Coming up for air: Typical sublime Orwell classic.How we all strive for our childhood and want to re live it but alas can't do it in reality/totality

Vernon God little : Truly deserved the prize. Sarcastic,taunting and darkly humorous. A hint of Salinger is evident.

The fist of God: As good a war novel as it gets told in the fluent Foresyth style.

Making History : The context was enticing but Stephen Fry is disappointing as an author in this one

Fault lines: Well researched with clear arguments. Rajan proving his mettle as an economist.

Fooled by Randomness : A jewel of a book. Can't seem to have enough praises for this one.

Ascent of Money : Hugely informative and gripping narrative. A must read for all lovers of finance.

Kafka on the shore : The best magical realism/surrealism work i have ever read. It's not a book, it's more of an experience where you transcend reality and venture into a strange new world which vaguely feels familiar. And Murakami was right that one needs to read the book many times to unravel the mystery. Well, i am game \m/

Stumbling on Happiness : A must read for anyone with even a hint of curiosity/interest/enthusiasm about psychology, human behavior and the mind.

Currently Reading :

100 years of solitude : Magical and fantastic as Garcia Marquez always is. But it kind of gets repetitive after a while.

A guinea pig's history of Biology : Looks really promising :)

Wish List :

Surely you are joking Mr Feynman

Dorian Gray

Chanakya's Chant

Time and again when I visit Mumbai and happen to observe the struggle ( described as animal like by a friend) that people go through every day I go back to the perpetually elusive question that has been plaguing me since past few years. What is the point of everything? Why do we exist? What we running after? Is there a goal or an objective at the end or the billions of humans treading this earth are just doing the same thing over and over again just for the sake of doing .Rather than the achievement of any specific and definable aim ? What has the existence of centuries of life on earth counted to? Is all this frivolous? Are we here just because the odds were in the favor of the genesis of life thus culminating in the right conditions during the big bang (of course to the subject that we are smart enough to find out what really happened when all this began )?

Humans might continue to exist for as many moon life cycles as the number of stars being born everyday but will this lead to anything? Except than being involved among ourselves, what do we truly stand for? Sartre in his controversial play “No exit” said that “Hell is other people”. If you really think it is empirically true. Let’s go back to the beginning when we assume that the 1st few Neolithic humans started to exist. They reproduced and created more like them. The world for them would have been mysterious but serenely at peace. Imagining living your life like a 1 year old for whom everything is new. Don’t you wish that were possible? So Man created more Men resulting in the aphorism “Child is the father of man “. This led to the classic economic problem of efficient allocation of resources. When these problems were created few of them moved on to look for greener pastures, something like diversification into new markets.

This process continued for ages and ages. In between man learnt how to hate, kill other men, greed, envy and similar other terms. This led to the creation of justifications and punishments which eventually led to the concept of the modern society /civilization and religion if we keep an objective view. Yes, Man is capable of solving his problems and has done so for millions of years. But who created these problems in the first place? Was it not the acts and whims of men? So now Man has become a vehicle of cleaning fellow men’s dirty deeds (Do we smell lawyers/consultants/ even doctors here?). The problem aggravated and has become so big that practically whatever anyone does , at least in the terms of earning a living , is to solve the problems created by others who were before them.

Thus in a way the existence of men has been defined by men themselves. In simple terms this is just the bartering of goods and service to run the economy. The matter though is not simple as we can show by drawing beautiful artless looking graphs. What about the suffering which has been created? The alleviation of suffering has become a big industry now and is regarded as the best one. But again my fundamental question, why did man create this problem? Come to think of it, the ‘Original Sin’ is probably the most important piece of knowledge which we know. It kind of answers the question of what created all this mess in this beautiful world. Sartre was right in his thought of ‘Hell is other people’ but unknown to himself he proved the existence of the ‘Original Sin’.

So, Man is doing what he created for himself to do. Yes I am wrong since I am not discounting the fact that natural calamities do exist and related issues. But then was Man even supposed to be present when those calamities struck? What if the deviation of rivers was a predestined phenomenon for the sustenance of earth and man was not supposed to be present there? Earthquakes would not have been so devastating had man not created concrete structures.

I am not saying that man should not have done anything. Action is the most revered word and everyone should do the work or action required from him. But why? Just so that his actions result in some more work which would require more action from Man? Why it is that man is always coaxed to work and work and never to actually think and introspect. Why? Is there any bigger aim? Or is all of this merely “Pointless”

She looked at his eyes as they went through the security check. In almost a whole month she was finally able to see him as he was.

The excitement and fanfare of an Indian wedding seemed to have engulfed her life. She desired the presence of her potential husband with her to alleviate her loneliness amidst the train of relatives.

This was it then, she thought and smiled with elation. Two weeks in Europe, just the two of them. How dreamlike it appeared. Two weeks stolen away from the chaotic life led by them, or was it the other way around?

He looked at her and seemed to read her thoughts, smiled back and shouted ‘Love you’ across the security guards and surveillance equipments.

She could not hide her tears and realized the purest and strongest feeling ever.