Thoughts Unlocked

Eyes tell a lot of stories , stories of Love, Fear, Hope,Apprehension.Sometimes you can look into the soul of a person just by looking into his eyes, at other times you get bluffed by them, one might be holding back gallons of tears but wont give away a hint of that.

I have seen stories in peoples eyes, but there is one which keeps reverberating in my mind.

It happened on a train trip i made from mugalsarai to arrah. These are places in Bihar and U.P. I must have been 14-15 years old and was part of a wedding company.I was travelling in the General compartment( The train only had that, No A/C, Not even Sleeper).The train ambled along at a pace comparable to the pace of development of the tribals of orissa.

At each legitimate Station and twice as many illegitimate ones(Heard about Chain Pulling...? ) a sea of people came aboard.Most of them Labourers.

I was lying on the upper bench( I say bench because that's what it was, made of pure wood) when i encountered those eyes.

He must have been 12-13 years old, was of medium built and could have easily mingled with the crowd.But he possessed one thing that set him apart(atleast for me) from everyone else,,,, his eyes.

He was staring straight at me with his dull yellow eyes . Yellow because that's what keeps coming to my mind.What was the story behind them , Of sorrow , happiness, dreams, lost opportunities or of hope?

Were they the eyes that generalized the lives of Indians, more specifically the Indians living below the poverty line.The story that all of us know but conveniently forget .The story of a India which still lurks in the shadow of the Brilliance of India's Economic Growth.

I can quibble about whats wrong and what should be done .But does that make any difference unless i go and do something about it?

Meanwhile the boy keeps staring at me, maybe he senses something, but what? . I look at him now and then for the better part of 2 hours , he stares back without blinking even once.

The Trains comes to a halt , in the middle of nowhere, between obscurity and nothingness, a part of the Train's space is vacated by the crowd ,as one being, with those yellow eyes leading the way !!!!

This is Something i Composed during ...ummm.... my Thinking Phases..
I still have those phases but now ,thankfully, they are all constructive and help me discover myself better .....................


When i leaf through the battered Index of my life,
I come upon an Entry which brings feelings of Missed Chances,
Incorrigble acts of Lousyness,
Atrocious feeling of Over Confidence,
Aimless Wanderings to Prove pointless Egos ......

The Ghosts of my Past have come to Haunt me,
They are Creating a success Story out of it,
I am bowing down to them,
Will i be ever able to Sub-due them....

The Fear of Defeat Motivated me to Try harder,
but is'nt Fear the Worst Diseaes,
Wil it Cripple ,
Mutilate and Exfoliate my Spirit,
...........

P.S: The Ghosts are mostly Annhiliated, but some shadows remain !!!

The Question that cropped into my mind today is --- "Is the journey important or the destination " , "Winning or the effort that one puts in ", " The final Destination or the Path that one treads".

What exactly is life , Is it the constant variation of happiness and sworrw with small and large destinations mingled, is it a path which one has to tread to meet with the inevitable date with "Death " or are we serving some purpose in our life. Whatever it might be we always have goals and aims , aspirations and dreams . Some are able to realize those goals, some are not , but eventually what do we have .

Memories , Vague sights and sounds in our minds, bitter sweet feelings that we associate with our actions and inaction .They say that every end is a new beginning , then whats our destination . A resting place to think over from where we are coming and where we ought to go , or rather to cherish the moments that we have had till that destination.

People think that they will get happiness after doing some big thing or reaching their goals or finding true love , but if thats so then our moments of happiness must be limited. Comprising of the few goals that we were able to achieve.

Is that what life is for.For those few moments or a constant feeling of happiness.

If that latter is true then the point is proven that that Means are more important. But then can anyone be really happy when one keeps failing to reach ones destination . Or is the combination ??

I say , however naive i might be , its the human spirit . The spirit of not giving up , the spirit of looking into the face of adversity and doing what is right, the spirit of exploring ones limits , the capacity of happiness .The will to go on when you are in the most impossible situation in your life . Eventually does it really matter if you were able to get through the problem or the contentment that you put in your best , you had your chance and you gave your best shot . Refusing to give up without a fight .

One of the most inspiring writers "Shri Ramdhari Singh "Dinkar" " said that "The worst thing that can happen to a person is to realize at the end of his life that he did not act in the right way or backed down because he was not courageous enough ".

Celebrate the Human Spirit .......

Cheers............

This one is not meant to help all you budding Infocians in your endeavors to make it to one of the companies whose name is Synonymous with India's Economic "Coming of Age”. With a marked Global Presence , Annual Revenues of US$3.1 billion(Fiscal 2007) with a market capitalization of over US$30 billion and over 75,ooo Employees Infosys is Undoubtedly A shining Arrow in The Quiver of the Indian IT Industry.

The Story starts at 8:35 A.M when I woke up, with the help of a full fledged kick by one of my hostel mates. It took 5 minutes to realize the gravity of the situation , the reporting for the Interview was 9A.M, the floor was abuzz with frantic movement of Students amidst comments of Good Luck and last minutes Checks(Hey don't forget your resume or the sacred flower that your bhatinda wali mausi gave to you for good luck).

So I hastily got ready and left the hostel. The Reporting was at JIIT Noida.By the time I reached JP ,my sms inbox was full with messages like --- Where are you, It has started , you are gone man,Jao ja ke so jao ... u get the idea...

Anyways I finally managed to reach the waiting room, full of my college mates all formally dressed up. Guess they should call it "The Torture Room " , just look at the anxious faces and nervous movements of Students, or "The Gossip Room " , just heard they are asking who is the 15th president of India , i think mayawati , nahi yaar I heard kalam , nops he is patudi , what are you mad he is a former cricketer . Then out of the blue some wise guy comes up and states that there have been only 11 Presidents till now... opps.... or they asking to count the number of buttons on your shirt without looking down ,, suddenly the room is bustling with numbers , I have 5, do they want the ones on my cuff as well???

In between Seniors keep coming trying to maintain order in the Room, Please keep quiet, what will the interviewers think, They won't take anyone, Think about the Reputation of JSS, You are not listening,arre koi sun kyo nahi raha, Kuch nahi ho sakta tum logon ka ,main abhi interview khatam karwata hoon (haan bhai aap senior hain jitne bhi chahein jokes maar sakte hain :) ) .......

Anyways, finally a very frustrated guy comes in and announces my name. I get up check my File for like the billionth time in 15 minutes, Straighten my Tie (Thank you Surabh Sir for the tie) and amble off...

After another round cross checking of my name, photo (ok I look like chamba ka dakoo in the photo but it's not my fault the local studio walllah did not have photo shop) et al I am asked to wait outside the interview room.

This part of my Interview is called "My first Creeps" (I hope there is no copyright issue with The Pursuit of Happyness , sorry Will anyways).I tried to recall the answer of "So Tell me about yourself" which I had so thoughtfully prepared, it came out, but in incoherent spurts. Suddenly the whole thought of actually giving an interview dawned on me , oh my god ,, mummy kya hoga mera !!!!!

I knocked on the door and went in, my file in my right hand a broad smile dancing on my face. Asked permission and sat down (Thank god at least did these things right).

Me: Good Morning Sir

Interviewer: Good Morning, You are Manas right.

Me: yes sir.

Interviewer: so manas, tell me about you.


me: My name is Manas , Student of JSS , CSE , 3rd yr ,, Acads , Sports , Quizzoc, Programming, Hobbies, blah blah blah ,,

interviewer:Whats your surname?

me:Sir ,Gupta.

Interviewer: Why don't you apply it then.


me:It was like that since my school days, there never was a sir name, only manas.

interviewer:why?

me:Sir , my parents must have put it down that way .

interviewer:you did not ask them why?

me:It never really concerned me enough to ask.

interviewer:But there must have been some reason ?

me:Sir i was not inquizzitive about it.

interviewer: That means you are not inquzzitive?

me:No sir , on the contrary i am very inquizzitive but not in this case.

interviewer:Are you hiding something from me?

me: No sir absolutely not , it was not such an important issue for me.

interviewer: But ??

me: Sir there is "not always a reason for every thing".(mark these words)


interviewer:So what do you read?

me :I used to read a lot of fiction earlier but now have moved to philosophy and non fiction now.


interviewer: What Book did you read last ?

me: The FountainHead by Ayn Rand.

interviewer: What did you learn from it?
me:Sir , Man is an end in himself."Reason should be the only judge of man's action and decisions".

interviewer: But now you are contradicting yourself that there is not a reason for everything

me:Sir I.....

interviewer: Yes Manas Am i not right

me:Yes sir but..

interviewer:That means you don't follow your principles and you contradict yourself ?

me: (baap re baap , ab toh gaya main , kya bolon ,, kuch nahi ho sakta , beta bure phase)
Sir
we don't live in a perfect world people, don't always base their actions on reason, but i believe that Reason should be the only judge and i try to follow it always in my life...


interviewer:ok ok , how much cement do you think was used up to make this room.


me: ( what , yeh kya question hai , ok ok stress interview , he's gonna test my analytical skills )

Sir last year there was a wall being constructed at my home, so...

interviewer:no no , i don't want any co relations


me:sir the wall was of the same height and type as it is....

interviewer:No Co-Realtions...


me:(Soch bete kuch toh soch ) Sir , i see that there are about 30 rows of bricks on the wall

interviewer:ummmm 30 r u sure?


me: oh sir 20 (blank look ) ,,, 15 sir

interviewer: and?

me: and sir 25 columns (again the blank look) , 20 columns . And sir i think the bricks are (Myself Pretending to solve quantum mechanics differential equations)
3 inches by 1.5 inches and 2 inch in height, and so if it takes 200 grams per brick , and total of 15*20*4*200,, that would give about 120 kgs.....

interviewer: Where do You live here?

me: Sir Hostel.

interviewer:Describe it and all ?

me:blah blah

interviewer:Any 5 things that you want to change in your hostel .


me: Mess food, Authorities , Generator.......

interviewer:What have you done about it ?


me:There commeties for that and all.

interviewer:But the situation has not changed


me:(Ab yeh kahan se aa gaya ) , Sir the situation has improved..

interviewer:That proves that you are INEFFICENT.


me:No sir , I am not.

interviewer:Are you trying to say that i am lying.

me: Sorry sir , but i never implied that. What i meant is that since i came in the first year the food has improved and blah blah blah

interviewer:But you are Inefficient and You can't get the work done. Why should we take you?

me:Sir i am a team player and have got leadership skills, i am good at acads, programming blah blah

interviewer:How can you say that ..


me:blah blah blah (Though all reasons were amply justified)

interviewer: But i still think that you are inefficient..

me: Blank

interviewer: Do you see that small balcony there ?

me: Yes sir , I see it.

interviewer:Whats the use of it here , in a classroom of an Engg Coll?List 5?

me:Sir there are classes going on in that opposite building , so if the students create chaos the teacher may report that (How Dumb)

interviewer:Thats no reason

me:But sir if there is fire or something then also he may report it

interviewer:ok ok next


me:Sir for fresh air , in case of emergency people can escape (From 3rd floor ,, how??) , Improves Beauty (Wah wah),Cleaning the windows since it would be easier to get to them from the balcony ....

interviewer:( Looks Malacious ) Do you see those pipes up there on the wall?

me:(This an Interview right?) Yes sir

interviewer:What are those for?


me:Sir ,looks like the A.C Duct to me.

interviewer:Nice talking to you Manas, anything you would like to ask ?

me:Sir, there is a research project going on at Infosys with collaboration with MicroSoft , Would i be allowed to work there?

interviewer:I can't assure you that since you are not selected (What !!) as of now i mean , But it will depend on the company policy , blah blah

me:Ok sir, Thank you

interviewer:Wish you good luck.

Finally that got Over .I was not sure what to tell my friends, i had kept my cool but was not sure whether i had talked sense or gibberish...

Whatever i thoroughly enjoyed it ....

The Result----->> After all that I ACTUALLY MADE IT ......

Well, of course it's my birthday.So i decided to give myself a gift.


Freedom is what i propose to bestow upon myself.Freedom of Thoughts and Expression , of Ideas, Views and Action.

Man was born free and everywhere he is in Chains : Rousseau

How true,are we really free?.Are we what we Believe we are?.Are we the masters of our own lives or is it just an Illusion.Are we mere Actors who personify the Roles assigned to them?.Views , actions and Thinking performed to the tune of an Unknown Hand?. Do we really have choices in our lives?.Why are we Here?What is our Purpose?

Are we Prisoners trapped in the Relentless Cycle of Birth and Death.

These are some of the Questions that i have been putting to myself but whenever i try to untangle them i plunge into the depths of an unknown Oblivion.Without any exit, the doors leading to Gateways. The Gateways leading to an Infinite Labyrinth of Random Thoughts without any End or Begining.