This one is not meant to help all you budding Infocians in your endeavors to make it to one of the companies whose name is Synonymous with
The Story starts at 8:35 A.M when I woke up, with the help of a full fledged kick by one of my hostel mates. It took 5 minutes to realize the gravity of the situation , the reporting for the Interview was 9A.M, the floor was abuzz with frantic movement of Students amidst comments of Good Luck and last minutes Checks(Hey don't forget your resume or the sacred flower that your bhatinda wali mausi gave to you for good luck).
So I hastily got ready and left the hostel. The Reporting was at JIIT Noida.By the time I reached JP ,my sms inbox was full with messages like --- Where are you, It has started , you are gone man,Jao ja ke so jao ... u get the idea...
Anyways I finally managed to reach the waiting room, full of my college mates all formally dressed up. Guess they should call it "The Torture Room " , just look at the anxious faces and nervous movements of Students, or "The Gossip Room " , just heard they are asking who is the 15th president of India , i think mayawati , nahi yaar I heard kalam , nops he is patudi , what are you mad he is a former cricketer . Then out of the blue some wise guy comes up and states that there have been only 11 Presidents till now... opps.... or they asking to count the number of buttons on your shirt without looking down ,, suddenly the room is bustling with numbers , I have 5, do they want the ones on my cuff as well???
In between Seniors keep coming trying to maintain order in the Room, Please keep quiet, what will the interviewers think, They won't take anyone, Think about the Reputation of JSS, You are not listening,arre koi sun kyo nahi raha, Kuch nahi ho sakta tum logon ka ,main abhi interview khatam karwata hoon (haan bhai aap senior hain jitne bhi chahein jokes maar sakte hain :) ) .......
Anyways, finally a very frustrated guy comes in and announces my name. I get up check my File for like the billionth time in 15 minutes, Straighten my Tie (Thank you Surabh Sir for the tie) and amble off...
After another round cross checking of my name, photo (ok I look like chamba ka dakoo in the photo but it's not my fault the local studio walllah did not have photo shop) et al I am asked to wait outside the interview room.
This part of my Interview is called "My first Creeps" (I hope there is no copyright issue with The Pursuit of Happyness , sorry Will anyways).I tried to recall the answer of "So Tell me about yourself" which I had so thoughtfully prepared, it came out, but in incoherent spurts. Suddenly the whole thought of actually giving an interview dawned on me , oh my god ,, mummy kya hoga mera !!!!!
I knocked on the door and went in, my file in my right hand a broad smile dancing on my face. Asked permission and sat down (Thank god at least did these things right).
Me: Good Morning Sir
Interviewer: Good Morning, You are Manas right.
Me: yes sir.
Interviewer: so manas, tell me about you.
me: My name is Manas , Student of JSS , CSE , 3rd yr ,, Acads , Sports , Quizzoc, Programming, Hobbies, blah blah blah ,,
interviewer:Whats your surname?
me:Sir ,Gupta.
Interviewer: Why don't you apply it then.
me:It was like that since my school days, there never was a sir name, only manas.
interviewer:why?
me:Sir , my parents must have put it down that way .
interviewer:you did not ask them why?
me:It never really concerned me enough to ask.
interviewer:But there must have been some reason ?
me:Sir i was not inquizzitive about it.
interviewer: That means you are not inquzzitive?
me:No sir , on the contrary i am very inquizzitive but not in this case.
interviewer:Are you hiding something from me?
me: No sir absolutely not , it was not such an important issue for me.
interviewer: But ??
me: Sir there is "not always a reason for every thing".(mark these words)
interviewer:So what do you read?
me :I used to read a lot of fiction earlier but now have moved to philosophy and non fiction now.
interviewer: What Book did you read last ?
me: The FountainHead by Ayn Rand.
interviewer: What did you learn from it?
me:Sir , Man is an end in himself."Reason should be the only judge of man's action and decisions".
interviewer: But now you are contradicting yourself that there is not a reason for everything
me:Sir I.....
interviewer: Yes Manas Am i not right
me:Yes sir but..
interviewer:That means you don't follow your principles and you contradict yourself ?
me: (baap re baap , ab toh gaya main , kya bolon ,, kuch nahi ho sakta , beta bure phase)
Sir
we don't live in a perfect world people, don't always base their actions on reason, but i believe that Reason should be the only judge and i try to follow it always in my life...
interviewer:ok ok , how much cement do you think was used up to make this room.
me: ( what , yeh kya question hai , ok ok stress interview , he's gonna test my analytical skills )
Sir last year there was a wall being constructed at my home, so...
interviewer:no no , i don't want any co relations
me:sir the wall was of the same height and type as it is....
interviewer:No Co-Realtions...
me:(Soch bete kuch toh soch ) Sir , i see that there are about 30 rows of bricks on the wall
interviewer:ummmm 30 r u sure?
me: oh sir 20 (blank look ) ,,, 15 sir
interviewer: and?
me: and sir 25 columns (again the blank look) , 20 columns . And sir i think the bricks are (Myself Pretending to solve quantum mechanics differential equations)
3 inches by 1.5 inches and 2 inch in height, and so if it takes 200 grams per brick , and total of 15*20*4*200,, that would give about 120 kgs.....
interviewer: Where do You live here?
me: Sir Hostel.
interviewer:Describe it and all ?
me:blah blah
interviewer:Any 5 things that you want to change in your hostel .
me: Mess food, Authorities , Generator.......
interviewer:What have you done about it ?
me:There commeties for that and all.
interviewer:But the situation has not changed
me:(Ab yeh kahan se aa gaya ) , Sir the situation has improved..
interviewer:That proves that you are INEFFICENT.
me:No sir , I am not.
interviewer:Are you trying to say that i am lying.
me: Sorry sir , but i never implied that. What i meant is that since i came in the first year the food has improved and blah blah blah
interviewer:But you are Inefficient and You can't get the work done. Why should we take you?
me:Sir i am a team player and have got leadership skills, i am good at acads, programming blah blah
interviewer:How can you say that ..
me:blah blah blah (Though all reasons were amply justified)
interviewer: But i still think that you are inefficient..
me: Blank
interviewer: Do you see that small balcony there ?
me: Yes sir , I see it.
interviewer:Whats the use of it here , in a classroom of an Engg Coll?List 5?
me:Sir there are classes going on in that opposite building , so if the students create chaos the teacher may report that (How Dumb)
interviewer:Thats no reason
me:But sir if there is fire or something then also he may report it
interviewer:ok ok next
me:Sir for fresh air , in case of emergency people can escape (From 3rd floor ,, how??) , Improves Beauty (Wah wah),Cleaning the windows since it would be easier to get to them from the balcony ....
interviewer:( Looks Malacious ) Do you see those pipes up there on the wall?
me:(This an Interview right?) Yes sir
interviewer:What are those for?
me:Sir ,looks like the A.C Duct to me.
interviewer:Nice talking to you Manas, anything you would like to ask ?
me:Sir, there is a research project going on at Infosys with collaboration with MicroSoft , Would i be allowed to work there?
interviewer:I can't assure you that since you are not selected (What !!) as of now i mean , But it will depend on the company policy , blah blah
me:Ok sir, Thank you
interviewer:Wish you good luck.
Finally that got Over .I was not sure what to tell my friends, i had kept my cool but was not sure whether i had talked sense or gibberish...
Whatever i thoroughly enjoyed it ....
The Result----->> After all that I ACTUALLY MADE IT ......
