I experienced a mixture of feelings on Saturday. Woke up early since i had slept really early the night before . Thought about taking a nature walk around campus. It turned out to be an amazing decision for i witnessed the glory of nature bestowed upon the WIMWI campus. After the winters the trees around campus are getting laden with new leaves. The symmetrically planted trees near the entrance with their black branches and light green colored leaves just looked amazing. To top it off the sunset from various locations along with the play of brush strokes of various hues ranging from orange to blue across the sky was mesmerizing. The weather was cool which exacerbated my pleasure of having hot 'moti chai' outside the campus gate.
In the afternoon i attended the allocation for foreign exchange seats and was lucky to get Copenhagen Business school. But after looking at the foreign allocation list a few not too happy thoughts cropped in my mind. A few weeks ago i had applied for various clubs and events for the post of organizing member. At IIMA club coords are chosen who in turn choose their team . During interactions just about everyone told me that since you are going on exchange it would be difficult to do the work and so number of exchange people is limited in the clubs. I thought it was fair enough.
But after looking at the list of outgoing students i found a significant overlap. Now i know my capability , at least in organizing events , so it was kind of a shock. I tried to find reasons but then i realized how pointless it is.
One of the best things about JEE or CAT(not this year :( ) is that by and large it is a level playing field. You are judged according to the same parameters as everybody else. But all this objectivity goes to the dolphins( Hitchhiker's hangover) once the human angle comes into play. Howsoever stringent the parameters might be one can never remove the inherent randomness originating from the complexities of the human mind. Also factors like favoritism, friendship and a range of other groupings ranging from country, religion to even your 'gali- mahaullah' comes into play. Add to this ,the preconceived notions which leave an indelible mark upon the decision making neurons of people.
As aptly stated by my Finance professor in class today " Life is not fair, you make the effort and somebody else reaps the benefits". The number of uncontrollable variables which influence our life (at least in the materialistic sense)is huge. But then how does one live with this . How does one enjoy a peaceful sleep knowing that he is as good or even better than his boss ( or fellow students / co workers etc) but does not get what he deserves in life ?
A simple solution as suggested by a yogi is to realize that all this is maya (now don't get any naughty ideas ). Live in a detached manner, observe life and all its happenings as a meek observer. Enjoy the 'Raslila'. Since eventually all of this shall pass away. Do the 'Karma' and accept the results. Don't try to find reasons for all the randomness in this world. Accept that this is how it is .
While eating my lunch today i realized how lucky I am . I do not have to worry about where my next meal will come from . I have numerous options in terms of what to eat. The food i get is hygienic (hopefully) and nutritious ( subject to the amount of adulteration of course).
Stumbled upon this video showing a cute lady demonstrating how to cook meals as she did during the great depression . I see people around me engrossed in the pursuit of worldly gains. Their happiness , contentment and just about everything else depends on how they can satiate their desires. I confess that i also belong to this category , howsoever i might try to remain detached . And it is fine since everyone is free to do what he thinks would give him/her happiness. Human race has progressed due to the ambition of restless souls.
But I feel that people forget the value of having this meal everyday. It is something that they are so used to that they don't think about it . Think of the millions across the world who sleep with an empty stomach and eyes brimming with tears.
We might feel that we are different than those not as lucky as us but are we really?
A street dweller sleeps with the hope that he will get his meal next day. A CEO sleeps with the hope that he will get his BMW soon.
Just finished watching a movie titled "A serious man " by the coen brothers. It is based on the Book of Job , where God tests Job's faith on him . There can be two interpretation , as i see it, of the movie.
The first one being that everything just happens. There is no deeper meaning, no rationalization . It's something like the fact that earth was created after the big bang because all the conditions happened to be there at the right moment. A slight variation and i would not be writing this.
The second could be ( in line with the actual Job story) that till the point the protagonist remains true to his religion he faces a number of grave problems but none actually materializes. And even if they do, he is in some way able to face them. But the moment he sways from the righteous path , as shown at the end , imminent catastrophic dangers happen.
What i want to ask is the relevance of destiny in our lives. What we are today or will be in the future , is the result of our actions alone or other factors . I know we are taught to work hard and do our best et al. But does the happenings in our lives, incidents around us have a more important role ?
What chance does a child born in abject poverty in one of the forgotten villages of India has ,even if he possess the same brain capacity as that of a nobel prize winning MIT physicist ?
After an exceptionally pathetic operations surprise quiz on Friday , i was greeted by a misty Saturday morning. But soon the mist lifted to give way to a bright and sunny morning. A fitting start to Chaos, the annual national Cultural festival of IIMA.
Rushing to the Hospitality desk of the event i witnessed a huge crowd of students waiting to get their accommodation. This was to continue through the next 2 days with the maximum participation of out station students in a long long time at chaos.
Officially the event had started the previous evening with an exceptionally stimulating performance by Grammy award winner pundit Vishwa mohan Bahtt.
Over the next three days there were hoards of events full of color, music, creativity and fun. The Fashion parade by NIFT Gandhinagar and NID were just amazing. I was totally blown over by their creativity. Same was the case with the choreography performance by IITB and NID . The local teams of IIMA gave a commendable performance considering the short time they had for preparation.
But the best part of the whole event for me was the music. After such a long time i got to head bang to some metal in a live concert. The performances of the various amateur college bands , solo performances and finally by Outro , a delhi based band were awesome. The crowd turnout at the Sonu Nigam concert was tremendous.
There were some brilliant musical and street plays which culminated with the performance of the play scripted by Anuragh Kashyap starring Tom Altar . A number of informal events like pulsar stuntmania and MTV Wassup kept the participants enthralled.
All in all the, 3 chaotic days were among the best days of my time spent so far here at IIMA. Maybe it was due to the events ,the performances , the semblance of feeling that i was in college or just the fact that it was a break from the normal pressurized and competitive life at IIMA.
Whatever it might have been , IIMA makes you come back to your senses soon enough. How ?
Greeting the happily chaotic 1st years by a horrible out of course decision making quiz a day after Chaos ....
On the esteemed day when my second article got published in the literary club newsletter of IIM Ahmedabad I ( don't know why so late) am putting down my 1st article which was written some 5 months back. :)
The train rambled on at its usual pace. It was one of those moments when you relive your childhood and experience the sheer joy of not having a single care in the world. Sitting on the steps of a train door at midnight seemed such a rare luxury now. The sensation of cold air brushing my face reminded me of all those impetuous journeys made during college days with friends. Sleepy villages passed by illuminated only by the light of the full moon flaunting its glory. It seemed perfect but nothing was perfect without her.
Fond memories flooded my mind. It had been a night like this. Only the three pink carnations picked up hastily before boarding the train were missing. It was difficult to tell whether the sweet smile waltzing across her face was more enchanting or the musical sound of her voice calling out my name over the din of the crowded railway station. I hastily hid the flowers in my backpack. It was a business trip after all. Whatsoever the state of my heart might have been, my mind prevented me from pouring out my feelings.
"But there is no logic in love", my heart pleaded.
"I hope you remember the agony that proceeded after following and believing the above proposition”, my mind reasoned.
Torn between conflicting emotions, I greeted her. We boarded the train and chatted for a while about the trip and the market situation. It was an overnight journey and we were supposed to report to our boss early morning. Even then we were up till late at night, chatting. Our conversation, as usual, flowed smoothly.
It was perfect. Our attitude, likes, dislikes values. But the ghosts of my past hovered over me. How perfect things are at first but the burden of time and reality slowly corrodes the very base of the relationship. Past cannot always predict the future but it surely can affect it, in both positive and negative ways. The latter was in progress now.
We decided to call it a day. She climbed on her berth. I could not resist and my heart got the better of my mind. I slipped the 3 carnations into her hands.
Coming back to reality, I went back to my berth. The compartment was dark and silent. I switched on the side lamp and looked at the most beautiful face I had ever seen. Maybe it was the ambience or the carnations or just me, 30 years ago. Whatever the reason might have been, I recollected the sound of those words.
“Thank you for the flowers. They are just amazing”.
“No problem, I picked them along the way. Good night. Sleep well”.
“Sweet dreams .Umm…. Manas , I think I am falling in love with you”.
When i was a kid just having a plastic ball was enough to make me happy. Now, to achieve the same level of happiness i guess i will require a number of intangible and tangible things which do not include that plastic ball.
As we grow old we widen our horizons . We start demanding and needing more . As taught in marketing ,we discover ( or made to ) our hidden needs. There is an old saying about the frog inside the well. He knows just about the well and has no idea about the outside world. This is , as taught to us , a bad thing . But can't we compare this frog to the kids who know nothing but are happier than the supremely knowledgeable human beings treading this planet.
I guess we start taking life and ourselves too seriously . We become the victim of our own needs. Needs which are supposed to bring happiness. Which in the short run do bring happiness but evaporate soon enough. Thus one is bound to slog hard throughout his/her life for that blissful state of mind. In the process we become responsible not only for ourselves but also for others. Then begins the cycle of compromises and subduing of aspirations.
But people will argue this is how life is. Hard , cruel and complicated.
Today, i felt the coolness palpable in the air. Also i noticed that a few rooms in the dorms had the ceiling fans turned off. I guess the signs are on the wall . But by what i know ,winters in Ahmedabad are nothing compared to the ones i have had the pleasure( or displeasure brrr... ) of experiencing in Delhi/Noida/Lucknow.
I guess i will have to start the yearly ritual of putting out warm clothes and blankets in the sun. I have not exactly enjoyed winters but they have their own charm. Like the pleasure of cuddling in the Rajaiwith a nice book and a coffee or walks on roads wrapped in low hanging fog.
It also reminds me of a few cherished memories like studying through the chilly nights in my hostel trying to complete the 5 units of syllabus for the semester exam the next day . Going with the hostel gang in auto/bus to sit for the paper or with manish on his scooter/bike. Last minute cramming and revisions standing in the bone numbing cold outside the center, then trying to warm hands so as to put down all the globe on the answer sheets.
Or going to school on my cycle in the fog with my blazer pockets filled with dry fruits given by mummy. The morning drills by the sports teacher to prepare for the annual day . Sitting or playing football in the sun with friends. Setting up bonfires from wood and dry leaves of the guava trees in my home and studying for tests which immediately followed the winter vacations.
Memories are all i possess and thank god they are all beautiful.
