Pointless



Time and again when I visit Mumbai and happen to observe the struggle ( described as animal like by a friend) that people go through every day I go back to the perpetually elusive question that has been plaguing me since past few years. What is the point of everything? Why do we exist? What we running after? Is there a goal or an objective at the end or the billions of humans treading this earth are just doing the same thing over and over again just for the sake of doing .Rather than the achievement of any specific and definable aim ? What has the existence of centuries of life on earth counted to? Is all this frivolous? Are we here just because the odds were in the favor of the genesis of life thus culminating in the right conditions during the big bang (of course to the subject that we are smart enough to find out what really happened when all this began )?

Humans might continue to exist for as many moon life cycles as the number of stars being born everyday but will this lead to anything? Except than being involved among ourselves, what do we truly stand for? Sartre in his controversial play “No exit” said that “Hell is other people”. If you really think it is empirically true. Let’s go back to the beginning when we assume that the 1st few Neolithic humans started to exist. They reproduced and created more like them. The world for them would have been mysterious but serenely at peace. Imagining living your life like a 1 year old for whom everything is new. Don’t you wish that were possible? So Man created more Men resulting in the aphorism “Child is the father of man “. This led to the classic economic problem of efficient allocation of resources. When these problems were created few of them moved on to look for greener pastures, something like diversification into new markets.

This process continued for ages and ages. In between man learnt how to hate, kill other men, greed, envy and similar other terms. This led to the creation of justifications and punishments which eventually led to the concept of the modern society /civilization and religion if we keep an objective view. Yes, Man is capable of solving his problems and has done so for millions of years. But who created these problems in the first place? Was it not the acts and whims of men? So now Man has become a vehicle of cleaning fellow men’s dirty deeds (Do we smell lawyers/consultants/ even doctors here?). The problem aggravated and has become so big that practically whatever anyone does , at least in the terms of earning a living , is to solve the problems created by others who were before them.

Thus in a way the existence of men has been defined by men themselves. In simple terms this is just the bartering of goods and service to run the economy. The matter though is not simple as we can show by drawing beautiful artless looking graphs. What about the suffering which has been created? The alleviation of suffering has become a big industry now and is regarded as the best one. But again my fundamental question, why did man create this problem? Come to think of it, the ‘Original Sin’ is probably the most important piece of knowledge which we know. It kind of answers the question of what created all this mess in this beautiful world. Sartre was right in his thought of ‘Hell is other people’ but unknown to himself he proved the existence of the ‘Original Sin’.

So, Man is doing what he created for himself to do. Yes I am wrong since I am not discounting the fact that natural calamities do exist and related issues. But then was Man even supposed to be present when those calamities struck? What if the deviation of rivers was a predestined phenomenon for the sustenance of earth and man was not supposed to be present there? Earthquakes would not have been so devastating had man not created concrete structures.

I am not saying that man should not have done anything. Action is the most revered word and everyone should do the work or action required from him. But why? Just so that his actions result in some more work which would require more action from Man? Why it is that man is always coaxed to work and work and never to actually think and introspect. Why? Is there any bigger aim? Or is all of this merely “Pointless”

Perfect


She looked at his eyes as they went through the security check. In almost a whole month she was finally able to see him as he was.

The excitement and fanfare of an Indian wedding seemed to have engulfed her life. She desired the presence of her potential husband with her to alleviate her loneliness amidst the train of relatives.

This was it then, she thought and smiled with elation. Two weeks in Europe, just the two of them. How dreamlike it appeared. Two weeks stolen away from the chaotic life led by them, or was it the other way around?

He looked at her and seemed to read her thoughts, smiled back and shouted ‘Love you’ across the security guards and surveillance equipments.

She could not hide her tears and realized the purest and strongest feeling ever.

Unfinished Business


Life seems to be just this. If we achieve something, we are happy; well and good. If we are not able to bridge the gap between expectation and reality it indeed leaves a hole inside us. Then begins the difficult, frustrating and seemingly impossible task of filling that void. We try to pacify ourselves, talk ourselves out of it, settle for the next best thing, believe that what happened was for our best, degrading the value of our expectation, so on and so forth.

But can this void be ever erased from our memory and our whole personality per se? Or do we keep on accumulating such voids throughout our lives. Just try to imagine the sum of all such voids. It will indeed be a very heavy one. A whole bunch of memories standing for missed opportunities, chances, bad luck, regrets. So as we grow up, all these need to be discounted at the rate of “peaceful and boring” normal existence to get a net present value. Is it not really hard to have that, on ones shoulders, even more so as time goes by. The concept of compounding losses???

What is the solution then? Mathematically it should be:

NPV of Voids = ∑(The magnitude of Void)/(1+Normal happiness rate)t

Now this will turn to 0 , which we ideally want as Normal happiness rate tends to Infinity. Since we can’t really control the magnitude of void all the time (Yeah all of us have got a great illusion that we are in total control of our life , but are we really? ), the most obvious answer is to make our normal boring life so happy and content that such voids may come and go without having any effect on us .

The most obvious answers and solutions are the most difficult to implement.The above is what the Yogis and Swamis do. They do not live in the future (or the anticipation of it as sugested by Heiddeger ) like us, thus time variant voids do not matter.
To put it in another way revise your “Bhoole Bisre geet “--- Mein zindagi ka sath nibhata chala gaya …… “Gam aur khushi mein fark na mehsoos ho jaha”. And again we arrive at the same result .
Think !!! :)

Euro Trip ; Part 1


Its been over a month since i landed in Copenhagen . I wanted to post and tell so much but time seems to be flying at the speed of the BrahMos(2.8 Mach).Anyways , since there is so much to tell i will limit myself to the ppt format and thus bullet points :)

Here Goes :

Few Vital Stats :
Countries visited or passed through : 7
Distance Covered : 11,000 Km is what it shows in the map above.
But that is one way mostly and does not show
the random detours which i took . So estimate
in excess of 25,000 KM ... Whew :)

- The grass does appear greener here and the sky clearer
- The ice cream vendor at Istanbul airport shouting "Badhiya Kulfi" when he saw us Indians
- Talking to the Brit girl sitting beside me on my flight only to discover that she was working as a dancer in Bollywood movies and was part of "once upon a time in Mumbai"
- The clouds and how they danced around an hour from landing at Copenhagen
- The feeling when i first saw the windmills and ferries in the sea between Denmark and Sweden
- How the houses and cars and roads look like toys in a toy world when looked from above in Denmark and Germany
- The shock i got when looking at prices of everything in Scandinavia . The relentless conversion of Kroner and Euros to Indian Rupees and thinking its too expensive
- The first trip to school and how i walked in the exact opposite direction. Came back looked at Google maps , took my laptop along , tried buying a ticket at the automatic machine at the train station , failed doing so and finally arriving 1.5 hours late in class
- The first trip to Stockholm , the girl like antics of Parag and all the convincing i had to do to make him come along
-The amazing time i had at Malmo. And it has been a regular part of euro trip now. To get connections i end up at random stations only to discover a cute little town or city . Malmo, Strasbourg, Karlsruhe , Cerbere , Nuremberg and i am sure lots many to come.
- Spending 5 hours inside a club in Stockholm just buying 1 drink so as to pass time. Witness some wild way these guys party here .
- The way the water sparkled in Stockholm . The awed feeling inside the VASA museum which tends to transport you into the Pirates of the Caribbean world
- The amazingly beautiful train trip to Norway and the never ending feeling that i was in the Hogwarts Bound train and a tall wizard will appear on the railway tracks out of nowhere
- The hike to the bordal Gorge at Vass village. Sitting for more than an hour , just looking at the scenery and smiling
- The 5 kilometer walk on international highway at Bergen with the sun shinning brightly behind, the backwaters of sea to my left , i pod playing old Hindi songs , wearing sunglasses , carrying my backpack and cars running at 150 Kph beneath. All this to save 23 Kroners or 180 rupees . Not really , just for the sake and satisfaction of discovery on foot.
- Being mocked by the bar tender at Bergen for asking to split up a glass of wine
- The Fjords !!!
- The beautiful random street performances , be it Stockholm, Bergen , Oslo , Copenhagen, Barcelona, Madrid or Nice
- The view from the top of Mount Floyn in Bergen , Prague Castle, National Museum in Barcelona, Berlin Parliament observation tower, Nice steps , Monaco Castle
- The way the sky was overcast and smooth cool wind flowing across my face in Barcelona
- Getting lost ( i am officially bad at reading city maps) in Barcelona , running all the way back to where i started. Starting again and finally managing to see all that i wanted . One great way to see a city
- Feeling of awe inside St Nicholas Church in Prague, Old Cathedral in Barcelona and Prague Castle.
- The way the church appeared out of nowhere inside the Prague castle to totally take me in by surprise. And the towers looking so like Hogwarts . The amazing book shop on the way with a cellar full of old books
- The 6 floors of Berlin Haufbaunhauf or the main train station and marveling at the German engineering
- Being misunderstood by 5 railway clerks in Barcelona, 2 in Hamburg , 1 in cerbere but managing somehow( sign language and written words) to find the right connection.
- Being lost again in Madrid , trying to read the Map. Then the cute old lady coming out of nowhere asking me where i intended to go. Me mumbling something in English and she replying something in Spanish. None understanding a word but still she directed me by holding my hand to some square that turned out to be brilliant . Ah amazing...
- Food : Tapas at Madrid, 3 course meal and Socca at Nice , Thai curry chicken at Berlin near the holocaust memorial. The pleasure of having hot daal , chawal and rice at home after days of eating sandwiches. Cooking , taking pictures and eating some amazing self cooked chicken curry, dum aloo, pulao, pasta, biryani and even paratha
- The Sea and how it was . Blue and Green and crystal clear at Nice and Monaco. The amazing splash at the secluded beach in Monaco . The cold water but with a bright sun behind. The rocky steps leading down to the beach and all the effort it took to reach there . All worth it .
- The way people sometimes smile at you in Copenhagen in the metro or on the streets.
- All those cold nights spent at the Stockholm, Berlin and Hamburg train stations.Brrr
- Oktoberfest and how wild it was. What ambiance , what color and enthusiasm. Us shouting at passerby to not click pics of a puking friend. People shouting at random inside the tents. We singing typical rowdy songs like U.P Bihar lutne , sutta and khalnayak inside the tent and then making Italians sitting near us sing them as well. Shouting India ka tempo high hai.
- Boarding the train from France to Germany without reservation since i had no other option and luckily not being disturbed even once by the ticket checker.A few rowdy french fellow travelers taking hold of the PA system of the train and announcing something in french. Everyone in the train laughing except myself.
- The ride on the bus across the France German border on a bus doing 120 Kph.
- The excitement before a trip next day and all those hours of planning in order to save those euros


I guess that is a lot for one post. Must have missed a few things but maybe for later. :)

Euro Trip Begins :)



Finally , after hours of planning and shopping , running and making calls and emails to get documents , animated conversations , photocopies , scans , currency rates , insurance premiums , accommodation procedures , applications and a night out packing , I guess i am finally prepared :)

Wish me luck and God Bless EUROPE :P

Confessions

Man: Forgive me father for i have sinned.

Father: What have you done my son. The Lord is merciful , he will forgive you.

Man: I am not sure about that father.

Father: Tell me son.

Man: I killed the child inside me Father. Killed him second by second. In cold blood. Consciously. Like the killers they show on crime shows. I knew what i was doing. And i knew that what i was doing was not right. But still i did it .

Father: Did you enjoy it?

Man: Oh no no. Not even for a moment. But i had to it . Didn't i?

Father: Why do you feel so my son?

Man: Because i had to belong. Belong and be part of the group. Do what others did. Do what others validated and accepted . And applauded. Is it not what we do. Belong?

Father:Define others my son.

Man: My friends , family ,coworkers. Society.

Father: Have you succeeded ?

Man: Yes, I have. They all love me and accept me.

Father: Then why are you discontented? Why can't you sleep peacefully at night like you used to? Why don't you laugh out these days? Why ?

Man: Because i killed him. I killed the part within me which was the biggest source of my happiness. I killed my urge to do what i wanted. Curbed the way i wanted to feel. Got consumed by the mad rush for materialism induced by this society. Bartered my happiness based on emotions for a concept of happiness that was based on material objects.

Father: You have your answer my Son.

Man: But, what now father? What can be done ?

Father: Find the child within you my son. The child which you thought you killed was, is and will always be within you. He can't die. No one can kill him. Not even you. Because he is You.

Loved and Lost



How ironic love is. The incidents and actions ,which elevates one to an unprecedented level of bliss , are the ones which transform into the most stinging pain.Once the person whom you love moves away , whatsoever the reason might be , he/she leaves behind a void in your life.

To some their whole life becomes a mere exercise of trying to find an apt replacement to fill the gap. Maybe a few are lucky enough to achieve so but for the majority this is an impossible task. Why such a pure and beautiful emotion , when it ceases to exist , transforms into the most cruel entity.