Thoughts Unlocked

Peace

2012-02-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

“Who the hell do you think you are? I earn more thanyou and have a far better work profile”

“Yes, I know. That’s why you fail to be a goodmother since all you are interested in is money and career and position andpower “

“Yes, I do. So, what. And who are you to pass judgmenton me about how good a mother I am. You are never home in any case. It is mewho has to take care of everything” “Especially your good for nothing familywho just sit there, eat, watch their stupid shows and keep pouring venom fromtheir throats every minute on me”

“Don’t you get them into this”

“Oh yes I will. I so will.” “They are family,everything and I am nothing to you, huh” “Just an overqualified and over smart housemaid”

“You are going mad each day. Just stop this nonsense.Don’t create a scene here”

“There is no one here to listen to all this. Sinceeveryone is at home. Busy being happy” “Not dragging their dead drunk husbandout of the club who has just spent a fortune on senseless drinks and food”

“Just shut up and get in the car”

“Ha, ha, ha. Just look at you. So weak. Can’t evendrive himself home”

“Stop speaking or I will hit you”

“Yeah, won’t be the first time. Will it? “

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Why are these well dressed people shouting andfighting? They have everything. Even that nice big black car with a musicsystem. And look at me. I have nothing. Sleeping for the zillionth time on theporch of this house. That too in this cold Delhi winter night with nothing butthis withering piece of cloth which can hardly pass for a blanket. I have noteaten a proper meal in 2 days. The last one was when that kind lady gave me theleftover food. The surface is hard. It is colder than usual today. Oh God. Imight even die tonight due to the cold.

But I do remember what my father told me before I lefthome to seek employment. I have peace. I have no worries. I don’t own anythingso I don’t fear losing anything. I have never done a bad thing in my life. Haverefrained from alcohol and smoking. I send whatever money I can every monthhome and my mother is happy because of me. I don’t worry about the future andhave nothing to keep me awake at night about my past. Sure the ground is hardand cold. I will never get to eat in those restaurants, shop in the shinybuildings, play with small devices in my hand, and drive a shiny car. I mightnot even ever get to experience love or get married. Most probably I will die young.

But till that time. My mind is blank. I am happy. Ihave PEACE. J

Untitled

2012-01-25T22:20:00.000-08:00

It glittered for a while, and then as if afraid of the piercing eyes gazing intently at it for what seemed like eternity, welcomed the cover of his friend, lover, nemesis. The pupils narrowed in resignation for they had no power over the object that they sought. Mere spectators.
But as ingrained in his master’s human spirit, the eyes did not give up. They started the arduous task of scanning the night sky. Looking for that small flicker. Hope? Or just another illusion that they saw every second. The curse of the eyes. They saw everything .
The star kept glittering, as ardently, as it always has been. For centuries. And for centuries it will . Wondering about its purpose . But no one to tell what it was. An existence serving some unknown master and some grand plan. Important no doubt , or so he thought.
His nemesis , the cloud, smirked at her achievement. Subduing out yet another of the shining objects it hated. She knew her purpose , or thought she knew. Her short existence aimed at eventually annihilating herself for the sake of those eyes which were always looking up at her. She did wonder , why should I? But it was not in her power
. The eyes finally found another dazzling light in the sky. Its potency managing to cut through those menacing clouds. It did what it was supposed to do. His master smiled , the eyes smiled. One more reason I gave for my master’s smile. Smile which was becoming rare. But yet, the hope remained...

Faith

2011-11-08T06:58:00.000-08:00

He shields his old eyes from the harsh rays of the afternoon Sun.The rays punish his wrinkled dark skin as if spiked with sarcasm."You are at my mercy and no one can protect you". He scans the horizon only to find the familiar sight of golden brown withering semblances of a sugarcane field.The soil feels lifeless; ashamed of its failure.His feet hurt.But he ignores it as he has done all his life.Pain is familiar.And what you are familiar with, you learn to live with it.

He opens his lunch,slowly peeling away the layers of the faded red cloth which houses his meal.Maybe with the hope that its content will last longer.False hopes, meant to protect him against the harsh reality.He looks at his meal of a single Ragi ball and a few shreds of coconut.He wants to break down and cry.But he is not even allowed that.Tears,it seems have an expiry date. His is way past.He eats.Alone.In silence.

The Sun finally takes pity.Winds commence their daily task of enveloping mankind with optimism.He gets up and grunts.His old,twisted bones resist.

The path is narrow but he has done this everyday,all his life.It opens into a clearing with a banyan tree standing in it's full glory.His weary eyes rest on the small brick structure; red,orange,white,triangular,square.He smiles for the first time since the break of dawn.His pace is hastened, pulse increased and he is breathing deeply.Probably feeling alive,again.

He bows down.The clean floor feels cool and refreshing.He thanks his lord for blessing him with another day.He asks for nothing.Sits at his favorite spot, watching the setting Sun ,hearing the chirping of birds returning home and humming his lord's name...

The Dude takes on Nihilism

2011-10-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

Nihilist: The world is pointless. It means nothing .It is here only because of an explosion that happened billions of years ago. There is no higher purpose, no aim and no final relevant end to humankind’s existence on earth.

The Dude: Huh… What were you saying again? By the way, this white Russian is marvelous. Cheers

Nihilist: I am saying that God is dead. There is no one to guide us. Also there is no free will, only what we are conditioned to do over time. Thus we can’t know what is good or evil. Thus all morality is baseless. How can we live in such a world?

The Dude: Yeah I get what you are trying to say. It is all due to the bloody government. They got the country into the useless war in the 60’s. I always said it was a shitty thing to get into but nobody listened. See, now it is so difficult for me to score my grass…

Nihilist: Yes, the government, the church. Everyone. They want to mislead us into thinking and believing that what they preach and want us to adhere to means something and is important. But it is not. It means nothing.

The Dude: Although the quality of milk you get these days has improved. What brand of milk did you put in this one?
Nihilist: We need to give meaning to our lives. We need to reject all that is thrust upon us. But then whatever meaning and purpose we give will again conform in a way to what was and is imposed on us. Since there is no free will. So it is hopeless. I am doomed, mankind is doomed. As the great philosopher said, it is the greatest crisis of humankind. There is no escape. There are no answers. There is no solution.

The Dude: What is the problem man! Everything OK with you?
Nihilist: Were you even listening to what I was saying?

The Dude: Sorry but I am kind of high right now. Still I got most of what you were trying to say. Here is what I feel. You see, I knew all this way back. Now, you can either go on thinking and fretting and doing your sad philosopher routine over and over again. Or you can choose to ‘Take it easy’.

You can either try, in vain, to find some higher meaning in life or go with the flow and enjoy what you can and when you can. When it is a given that all this world means nothing, then live your life that way you want to. Don’t conform to any rules or traditions or hierarchies or class or money or power. If you try to change the system then again you are trying to force your rules on someone else like you. So don’t do that. Make your own rules, ignore all the bullshit going on in the world and live your life as you want to.

What you call meaninglessness I call freedom. I need not pretend to be someone I am not. Earn money that I don’t need, starve myself to have an athlete’s body since I need not impress anyone, preach since I don’t believe in anything or anything worth telling others.

Chill man. Take a sip of this fabulous White Russian you made. Observe, enjoy the dance of Life and have a damn good time while you are here . Cheers !!!

P.S: Dedicated to all the Dudes of the world , especially S.C \m/

Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing…... (Macbeth), William Shakespeare

I praise, I do not reproach, [nihilism's] arrival. I believe it is one of the greatest crises, a moment of the deepest self-reflection of humanity. Whether man recovers from it, whether he becomes master of this crisis, is a question of his strength. It is possible. . . . (Complete Works Vol. 13) ,Nietzsche

On the Road: Bangalore to Bijapur

2011-10-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

When I am having fun or am engaged in too many things it becomes difficult to break through the huge barrier of my lethargy and move the muscles to actually write something. The bother to my writing neurons in the left side and creative ones on the right side was also too much .So here is a small thank you note to both sides for playing along. This won’t be long and so you can go back to your aimless wanderings through my past, future and maybe present as and when your whims so desire.

Bangalore was awesome, both in the absolute sense and to a degree due to the base effect. My certain not so great experiences last time, mostly with respect to basic survival and human needs, had put a sort of an apprehension in my mind. Anyways I can state that barring the traffic/pollution/ PG Accommodation all was well. Especially the Auto situation seems to have improved.

The best thing was the company of some of my best friends’ .Thus all the drudgery associated with your Job is nullified over the weekend (Well technically I just had the Sunday, Yeah Sales Job: What to do) It was as green and beautiful as always and I can officially declare that Bangalore is the greenest Big City in India.

Plus I can never ever thank the city (and Mysore) enough for changing the course of my Career. Whenever I used to pass by Baldwin Boy’s School the (now) sweet memories of writing CAT 2008, after that hilarious and awkward incident which just about annihilated my chances of even writing the exam, came gushing in. Not only my career but certain higher and for me more important callings in Life. Thanks for taking me in and treating me well :)

Move over to Bijapur where I am writing this post while staring at the funnily colored but cheerful orange wall of my room. To me all small towns in India look and feel the same. So move over regionalists, this is my country and my people. I am as comfortable here as I would be in Sitapur.

The best part is that I actually am on the road (in a rickety Bus) for more than 60% of my Office Hours. And I love it. Maybe it is the weather which is not as great as Bangalore but becomes pleasant often enough to make me smile. Or the sheer joy it is to look at Bright sunflower fields in full bloom smiling back at me. Today it was the corn and sugarcane fields which radiated hope and prosperity. Crossing over the River Krishna reminds me of my childhood drives to Ghaghra River from Lucknow. The coconut and palm trees, irrigation canals, sporadic showers, blinding white Dhoti Kurta attire of villagers , birds flying across the green hills … It all adds to the magic!!!

Socrates

2011-09-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

Socrates actually understood that death is not the end.To him his belief was more important that the whims of men , abiding by which he could have lived.... He lived life of the basest beggar but died richer , beyond the imagination of any mortal man.... I hope he got what he sought in his next life...

Elements of Existentialism

2011-08-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

Existentialism refers to the works of 19th and 20th century philosophers which broadly seeks to emphasize on the individual and how he/she seeks to understand his/her existence is this world. Thus individuals throughout their lives make choices and decisions and thus define who they are. The core of human existence is to find meaning in their lives and identify themselves in this world. Thus „Existentialism „seeks to analyze and understand human existence.

According to Walter Kaufmann, Existentialism is a body cover that writers put for philosophy against traditional philosophy. Existentialism as theory defines the freedom available to mark dissatisfaction against traditional philosophy as superficial, academic, and remote from life. It supports the idea of not being associated with any particular school of thought, beliefs and systems. It is a timeless sensibility that can be discerned and can be sustained protest and preoccupation.

One of the grounding principles in existential thought is that reason cannot be the only basis for human identity. It‟s only our work and we ourselves define what we are as human beings. Existentialism is referred to as a reaction to a secularised world; where role of religion, morals, purpose, virtues and universal truth are minimal. Existentialism made an effort to describe the implications and possibilities of the foundation less world.

According to existentialism what is "good" for us cannot be determined and so we must be the founder of our own values and projects. Radical sovereignty comes with radical failure and we must be prepared to deal with both.

This cannot be done solely on the basis of Sciences like biology, physics, psychology et al. Nor can existence be understood by adding the concept of morality to science or taking recourse in the concepts of God, nation, authority , tradition, work et al. Existence is something more, something that might change from individual to individual. Man thus exists first and then he seeks to define himself in this world. Rather than Man being predefined or Man being a fully described model of a „Human‟. This responsibility of his own existence leads to „Angst‟.

Existentialism also stands for the free will, ability to make choices and responsibility of his choices/actions of Man. Thus Man is free to choose and decide how he interprets the world and what choices he makes. But at the same time he is wholly responsible for his choices. He is the one who bears the burden of his actions and cannot blame society, laws, ethics, culture et al for making him do things and their future consequences. Personal responsibility and accountability is stressed upon.

Another important thought is the „Absurdity‟ of this world. Existentialism begins with the realization that the world is not totally rational and is ambiguous. Thus, it is not an easy job to find the meaning of one‟s existence in such a distorted world. The concept of Facticity also is an important concept. Basically it means that Man is free with respect to his present and future but he does carry the burden of his past. Thus he can do whatever he wishes to do keeping his past existence and its consequences in mind. Freedom is always there but only within the range of what is allowed by the results of his actions in the past for which he is totally accountable.

„Authenticity and Inauthenticity‟ are related to the actions performed by Man. Thus man should be authentic in his behavior which essentially means that he should act and make choices so as to be what he is. He has to act keeping in mind that he is free. Inauthentic behavior on the other hand means when a person behaves so as to meet or confer to certain rules or standards or tries to ape somebody or concept and thus forgoes his freedom. When he acts believing that he is constrained due to lack of choices and thus can blame reasons external to his self for his behavior.

Existentialists as a rule were against „Rationalism and Positivism‟. The basis of this treatment is that the world is irrational and the concept that human beings are rational creatures. Adhering to rationalism leads to suppression of individual freedom and thus leads to anxiety. If one seeks to give a meaning to his world, he can do only when he let goes of reason. This is the only way to exist and find meaning in life is through deciding and assigning meaning to one‟s life. This cannot be achieved through pure rationalism and the person who tries to do so will forever be lost, in despair and will not be able to succeed.

The existentialist thought was shaped by a number of philosophers but among them Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Heidegger and Sartre stand out. The thoughts of various existentialist thinkers vary vastly. Thus it is difficult to come up with one exact definition of existentialism. Still, the concept of individual human existence and absurdity of the world (to an extent) seems common in all their thoughts.

The existentialist movement was hugely popular during the post war era primarily due to its focus on freedom of the individual and partly because of the strong views and literary works of various existentialist thinkers.

On the road : Episode 1

2011-08-01T00:42:00.000-07:00

Location : Central Hyderabad

The city looked so much like Lucknow as i zigzagged through the rowdy Hyderabad morning traffic sitting on the back of my sales officer's bike. My 1st day making sales calls and i could not have asked for a better weather.

The best thing was the use of Hindi , albeit mixed with telegu and the typical Hyderabad accent which took some time to get used to. So a 'nahi' becomes a 'nakka' here. Also the address of retailers as 'anna', 'seth'.

The high point of the day was when we discussed the 'Snake' which had landed at my SO's home while sipping on hot yet amazingly refreshing Irani lemon and mint tea.It's apparently a common sight in the locality where he lives near osmania university which is shrouded by vegetation.

The snake charmers do brisk business charging 200 Rs for each catch and then pocketing the allowance given by the forest department to bring in the catch or by eating/skinning the snake. The latter seems more like a conspiracy theory as suggested by a retailer. But you never know , India was considered the snake charmer's land for nothing.

Yeah, my journey in sales has begun.It's back to Karnataka after 2.5 years. I hope this stint proves as fruitful and lucky for me as the last one which practically changed the entire course of my life.

P.S: The food is awesome here, specially paradise biryani :)

SECURITY: Has it become an overrated and obsolete term???

2011-07-25T21:25:00.000-07:00

I woke up to the sight of a pristine lake set amidst old conifers grazing past my window. “You are now entering Norway and leaving the European Union. Please keep your passports handy for security check”. The police woman greeted me amicably and wished me a pleasant stay. I got down at the next idyllic station with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. The station was all but a small cabin meant for the station master and I could see the village through the entrance.

Cut back to the next day, I was walking on the international highway with cars zipping beneath me at 100 miles an hour and the Fjords visible across the horizon. I was kind of lost. It was pretty apparent, as the kind lady came over and gave me directions in as much English as she knew.

The next day I was roaming around Oslo at 5 in the morning with glassy mist shrouding the city. I went to parks and monuments and sculpture gardens with no care about my safely. Why would I. It was Norway after all. The most developed country and among the richest and safest in the world. Good times, no worries and sparkling life long memories.

Two days ago the Sunday Times headline read “Terrorist strike in Norway”. I was in utter disbelief. It rapidly turned to sadness and my first reaction was “At least let some places free from all the mindless bloodshed”.

Somehow we have sadly come to accept bomb blasts as part of life in India. But the above incident made my conviction even stronger. We really have nothing in our control when it comes to security. Be it any place, any situation. The reason is simple. You can have all the control and precautions in place. But how can you stop a ‘human mind’ with its conviction, whims, madness and bitterness from exploding. How can you judge that the person sitting next to you in your office, bus, with which you interact, buy stuff et al is not going to explode? Just imagine the activation mechanism of a nuclear bomb in the hands of a madman and how his one flick can change the course of millions of people.

Is there any protection against that one Human bomb who can be anyone among the billions who tread this earth? I am not saying that we should start looking at adversity and begin to see people who are out to kill us at each juncture. All that I have personally realized is that Human Life is so fragile and vulnerable. We think and act so as to feel that we are in control but who are we really kidding on an absolute level?

Just a last thought. In the utterly sad Mumbai attacks a few weeks back an unlucky person was found dead with 10 lottery tickets on him. Just to say, how small our Big plans for life become when fate strikes that fatal blow.

My reading list

2011-06-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

Here goes :

Read in recent times:

Interview with the vampire : As poetic as a gory vampire story can get.

Coming up for air: Typical sublime Orwell classic.How we all strive for our childhood and want to re live it but alas can't do it in reality/totality

Vernon God little : Truly deserved the prize. Sarcastic,taunting and darkly humorous. A hint of Salinger is evident.

The fist of God: As good a war novel as it gets told in the fluent Foresyth style.

Making History : The context was enticing but Stephen Fry is disappointing as an author in this one

Fault lines: Well researched with clear arguments. Rajan proving his mettle as an economist.

Fooled by Randomness : A jewel of a book. Can't seem to have enough praises for this one.

Ascent of Money : Hugely informative and gripping narrative. A must read for all lovers of finance.

Kafka on the shore : The best magical realism/surrealism work i have ever read. It's not a book, it's more of an experience where you transcend reality and venture into a strange new world which vaguely feels familiar. And Murakami was right that one needs to read the book many times to unravel the mystery. Well, i am game \m/

Stumbling on Happiness : A must read for anyone with even a hint of curiosity/interest/enthusiasm about psychology, human behavior and the mind.

Currently Reading :

100 years of solitude : Magical and fantastic as Garcia Marquez always is. But it kind of gets repetitive after a while.

A guinea pig's history of Biology : Looks really promising :)

Wish List :

Surely you are joking Mr Feynman

Dorian Gray

Chanakya's Chant

Pointless

2011-05-14T02:24:00.000-07:00

Time and again when I visit Mumbai and happen to observe the struggle ( described as animal like by a friend) that people go through every day I go back to the perpetually elusive question that has been plaguing me since past few years. What is the point of everything? Why do we exist? What we running after? Is there a goal or an objective at the end or the billions of humans treading this earth are just doing the same thing over and over again just for the sake of doing .Rather than the achievement of any specific and definable aim ? What has the existence of centuries of life on earth counted to? Is all this frivolous? Are we here just because the odds were in the favor of the genesis of life thus culminating in the right conditions during the big bang (of course to the subject that we are smart enough to find out what really happened when all this began )?

Humans might continue to exist for as many moon life cycles as the number of stars being born everyday but will this lead to anything? Except than being involved among ourselves, what do we truly stand for? Sartre in his controversial play “No exit” said that “Hell is other people”. If you really think it is empirically true. Let’s go back to the beginning when we assume that the 1st few Neolithic humans started to exist. They reproduced and created more like them. The world for them would have been mysterious but serenely at peace. Imagining living your life like a 1 year old for whom everything is new. Don’t you wish that were possible? So Man created more Men resulting in the aphorism “Child is the father of man “. This led to the classic economic problem of efficient allocation of resources. When these problems were created few of them moved on to look for greener pastures, something like diversification into new markets.

This process continued for ages and ages. In between man learnt how to hate, kill other men, greed, envy and similar other terms. This led to the creation of justifications and punishments which eventually led to the concept of the modern society /civilization and religion if we keep an objective view. Yes, Man is capable of solving his problems and has done so for millions of years. But who created these problems in the first place? Was it not the acts and whims of men? So now Man has become a vehicle of cleaning fellow men’s dirty deeds (Do we smell lawyers/consultants/ even doctors here?). The problem aggravated and has become so big that practically whatever anyone does , at least in the terms of earning a living , is to solve the problems created by others who were before them.

Thus in a way the existence of men has been defined by men themselves. In simple terms this is just the bartering of goods and service to run the economy. The matter though is not simple as we can show by drawing beautiful artless looking graphs. What about the suffering which has been created? The alleviation of suffering has become a big industry now and is regarded as the best one. But again my fundamental question, why did man create this problem? Come to think of it, the ‘Original Sin’ is probably the most important piece of knowledge which we know. It kind of answers the question of what created all this mess in this beautiful world. Sartre was right in his thought of ‘Hell is other people’ but unknown to himself he proved the existence of the ‘Original Sin’.

So, Man is doing what he created for himself to do. Yes I am wrong since I am not discounting the fact that natural calamities do exist and related issues. But then was Man even supposed to be present when those calamities struck? What if the deviation of rivers was a predestined phenomenon for the sustenance of earth and man was not supposed to be present there? Earthquakes would not have been so devastating had man not created concrete structures.

I am not saying that man should not have done anything. Action is the most revered word and everyone should do the work or action required from him. But why? Just so that his actions result in some more work which would require more action from Man? Why it is that man is always coaxed to work and work and never to actually think and introspect. Why? Is there any bigger aim? Or is all of this merely “Pointless”

Perfect

2011-01-04T00:36:00.000-08:00

She looked at his eyes as they went through the security check. In almost a whole month she was finally able to see him as he was.

The excitement and fanfare of an Indian wedding seemed to have engulfed her life. She desired the presence of her potential husband with her to alleviate her loneliness amidst the train of relatives.

This was it then, she thought and smiled with elation. Two weeks in Europe, just the two of them. How dreamlike it appeared. Two weeks stolen away from the chaotic life led by them, or was it the other way around?

He looked at her and seemed to read her thoughts, smiled back and shouted ‘Love you’ across the security guards and surveillance equipments.

She could not hide her tears and realized the purest and strongest feeling ever.

Unfinished Business

2010-12-12T18:26:00.000-08:00

Life seems to be just this. If we achieve something, we are happy; well and good. If we are not able to bridge the gap between expectation and reality it indeed leaves a hole inside us. Then begins the difficult, frustrating and seemingly impossible task of filling that void. We try to pacify ourselves, talk ourselves out of it, settle for the next best thing, believe that what happened was for our best, degrading the value of our expectation, so on and so forth.

But can this void be ever erased from our memory and our whole personality per se? Or do we keep on accumulating such voids throughout our lives. Just try to imagine the sum of all such voids. It will indeed be a very heavy one. A whole bunch of memories standing for missed opportunities, chances, bad luck, regrets. So as we grow up, all these need to be discounted at the rate of “peaceful and boring” normal existence to get a net present value. Is it not really hard to have that, on ones shoulders, even more so as time goes by. The concept of compounding losses???

What is the solution then? Mathematically it should be:

NPV of Voids = ∑(The magnitude of Void)/(1+Normal happiness rate)t

Now this will turn to 0 , which we ideally want as Normal happiness rate tends to Infinity. Since we can’t really control the magnitude of void all the time (Yeah all of us have got a great illusion that we are in total control of our life , but are we really? ), the most obvious answer is to make our normal boring life so happy and content that such voids may come and go without having any effect on us .

The most obvious answers and solutions are the most difficult to implement.The above is what the Yogis and Swamis do. They do not live in the future (or the anticipation of it as sugested by Heiddeger ) like us, thus time variant voids do not matter.
To put it in another way revise your “Bhoole Bisre geet “--- Mein zindagi ka sath nibhata chala gaya …… “Gam aur khushi mein fark na mehsoos ho jaha”. And again we arrive at the same result .
Think !!! :)

Euro Trip ; Part 1

2010-10-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

Its been over a month since i landed in Copenhagen . I wanted to post and tell so much but time seems to be flying at the speed of the BrahMos(2.8 Mach).Anyways , since there is so much to tell i will limit myself to the ppt format and thus bullet points :)

Here Goes :

Few Vital Stats :
Countries visited or passed through : 7
Distance Covered : 11,000 Km is what it shows in the map above.
But that is one way mostly and does not show
the random detours which i took . So estimate
in excess of 25,000 KM ... Whew :)

- The grass does appear greener here and the sky clearer
- The ice cream vendor at Istanbul airport shouting "Badhiya Kulfi" when he saw us Indians
- Talking to the Brit girl sitting beside me on my flight only to discover that she was working as a dancer in Bollywood movies and was part of "once upon a time in Mumbai"
- The clouds and how they danced around an hour from landing at Copenhagen
- The feeling when i first saw the windmills and ferries in the sea between Denmark and Sweden
- How the houses and cars and roads look like toys in a toy world when looked from above in Denmark and Germany
- The shock i got when looking at prices of everything in Scandinavia . The relentless conversion of Kroner and Euros to Indian Rupees and thinking its too expensive
- The first trip to school and how i walked in the exact opposite direction. Came back looked at Google maps , took my laptop along , tried buying a ticket at the automatic machine at the train station , failed doing so and finally arriving 1.5 hours late in class
- The first trip to Stockholm , the girl like antics of Parag and all the convincing i had to do to make him come along
-The amazing time i had at Malmo. And it has been a regular part of euro trip now. To get connections i end up at random stations only to discover a cute little town or city . Malmo, Strasbourg, Karlsruhe , Cerbere , Nuremberg and i am sure lots many to come.
- Spending 5 hours inside a club in Stockholm just buying 1 drink so as to pass time. Witness some wild way these guys party here .
- The way the water sparkled in Stockholm . The awed feeling inside the VASA museum which tends to transport you into the Pirates of the Caribbean world
- The amazingly beautiful train trip to Norway and the never ending feeling that i was in the Hogwarts Bound train and a tall wizard will appear on the railway tracks out of nowhere
- The hike to the bordal Gorge at Vass village. Sitting for more than an hour , just looking at the scenery and smiling
- The 5 kilometer walk on international highway at Bergen with the sun shinning brightly behind, the backwaters of sea to my left , i pod playing old Hindi songs , wearing sunglasses , carrying my backpack and cars running at 150 Kph beneath. All this to save 23 Kroners or 180 rupees . Not really , just for the sake and satisfaction of discovery on foot.
- Being mocked by the bar tender at Bergen for asking to split up a glass of wine
- The Fjords !!!
- The beautiful random street performances , be it Stockholm, Bergen , Oslo , Copenhagen, Barcelona, Madrid or Nice
- The view from the top of Mount Floyn in Bergen , Prague Castle, National Museum in Barcelona, Berlin Parliament observation tower, Nice steps , Monaco Castle
- The way the sky was overcast and smooth cool wind flowing across my face in Barcelona
- Getting lost ( i am officially bad at reading city maps) in Barcelona , running all the way back to where i started. Starting again and finally managing to see all that i wanted . One great way to see a city
- Feeling of awe inside St Nicholas Church in Prague, Old Cathedral in Barcelona and Prague Castle.
- The way the church appeared out of nowhere inside the Prague castle to totally take me in by surprise. And the towers looking so like Hogwarts . The amazing book shop on the way with a cellar full of old books
- The 6 floors of Berlin Haufbaunhauf or the main train station and marveling at the German engineering
- Being misunderstood by 5 railway clerks in Barcelona, 2 in Hamburg , 1 in cerbere but managing somehow( sign language and written words) to find the right connection.
- Being lost again in Madrid , trying to read the Map. Then the cute old lady coming out of nowhere asking me where i intended to go. Me mumbling something in English and she replying something in Spanish. None understanding a word but still she directed me by holding my hand to some square that turned out to be brilliant . Ah amazing...
- Food : Tapas at Madrid, 3 course meal and Socca at Nice , Thai curry chicken at Berlin near the holocaust memorial. The pleasure of having hot daal , chawal and rice at home after days of eating sandwiches. Cooking , taking pictures and eating some amazing self cooked chicken curry, dum aloo, pulao, pasta, biryani and even paratha
- The Sea and how it was . Blue and Green and crystal clear at Nice and Monaco. The amazing splash at the secluded beach in Monaco . The cold water but with a bright sun behind. The rocky steps leading down to the beach and all the effort it took to reach there . All worth it .
- The way people sometimes smile at you in Copenhagen in the metro or on the streets.
- All those cold nights spent at the Stockholm, Berlin and Hamburg train stations.Brrr
- Oktoberfest and how wild it was. What ambiance , what color and enthusiasm. Us shouting at passerby to not click pics of a puking friend. People shouting at random inside the tents. We singing typical rowdy songs like U.P Bihar lutne , sutta and khalnayak inside the tent and then making Italians sitting near us sing them as well. Shouting India ka tempo high hai.
- Boarding the train from France to Germany without reservation since i had no other option and luckily not being disturbed even once by the ticket checker.A few rowdy french fellow travelers taking hold of the PA system of the train and announcing something in french. Everyone in the train laughing except myself.
- The ride on the bus across the France German border on a bus doing 120 Kph.
- The excitement before a trip next day and all those hours of planning in order to save those euros

I guess that is a lot for one post. Must have missed a few things but maybe for later. :)

Euro Trip Begins :)

2010-08-29T18:22:00.001-07:00

Finally , after hours of planning and shopping , running and making calls and emails to get documents , animated conversations , photocopies , scans , currency rates , insurance premiums , accommodation procedures , applications and a night out packing , I guess i am finally prepared :)

Wish me luck and God Bless EUROPE :P

Confessions

2010-06-24T14:10:00.000-07:00

Man: Forgive me father for i have sinned.

Father: What have you done my son. The Lord is merciful , he will forgive you.

Man: I am not sure about that father.

Father: Tell me son.

Man: I killed the child inside me Father. Killed him second by second. In cold blood. Consciously. Like the killers they show on crime shows. I knew what i was doing. And i knew that what i was doing was not right. But still i did it .

Father: Did you enjoy it?

Man: Oh no no. Not even for a moment. But i had to it . Didn't i?

Father: Why do you feel so my son?

Man: Because i had to belong. Belong and be part of the group. Do what others did. Do what others validated and accepted . And applauded. Is it not what we do. Belong?

Father:Define others my son.

Man: My friends , family ,coworkers. Society.

Father: Have you succeeded ?

Man: Yes, I have. They all love me and accept me.

Father: Then why are you discontented? Why can't you sleep peacefully at night like you used to? Why don't you laugh out these days? Why ?

Man: Because i killed him. I killed the part within me which was the biggest source of my happiness. I killed my urge to do what i wanted. Curbed the way i wanted to feel. Got consumed by the mad rush for materialism induced by this society. Bartered my happiness based on emotions for a concept of happiness that was based on material objects.

Father: You have your answer my Son.

Man: But, what now father? What can be done ?

Father: Find the child within you my son. The child which you thought you killed was, is and will always be within you. He can't die. No one can kill him. Not even you. Because he is You.

Loved and Lost

2010-06-20T00:28:00.001-07:00

How ironic love is. The incidents and actions ,which elevates one to an unprecedented level of bliss , are the ones which transform into the most stinging pain.Once the person whom you love moves away , whatsoever the reason might be , he/she leaves behind a void in your life.

To some their whole life becomes a mere exercise of trying to find an apt replacement to fill the gap. Maybe a few are lucky enough to achieve so but for the majority this is an impossible task. Why such a pure and beautiful emotion , when it ceases to exist , transforms into the most cruel entity.

Trudging vs Living

2010-05-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

I looked out at the deep blue sea spreading its beautiful yet treacherous wings. The waves trembled with vicious force towering over the icebreaker ship Kapitan Khlebnikov. ‘This is it ‘, I reflected as we approached the rocks lining the southern edge of the South Georgia Island. The Icebreaker had managed to cover the mountainous seas spanning close to 800 miles from Antarctica but the ordeal was not over yet. The ship, weary of unscheduled and emergency travelling, was in a bad shape. Certainly not the right vessel to brave the approaching rocks.

The temperature was sub zero as usual accompanied by chilly winds shrieking past my ears. But I was used to this weather. The expedition had started months ago but it still felt as if it were yesterday. The memories came flooding back. I had read that when you are about to die you see your life flash by. I guess it is true.

“This is the biggest and the last mistake of your life”.
“How can you just leave everything like this?”
“How can you quit at this critical juncture of your career?”
“Are you not afraid?”

The voices, expressions and resentment of my near and dear ones filled my mind. Yes, leaving an exceptionally well paying job at a leading business consultancy was a stupid thing to do. That too, when I had actually managed to carve a niche for myself in the organization and was part of the elite club. All the relentless effort and sacrifices I had undertaken to pursue my goals appeared to be a waste.

The coast was visible now and so were the thousands of King Penguins and Seals lying without a care in the world. The Island looked invigorating. If only we could reach it. A former whaling station, South Georgia was the closest land mass from the site of our accident near Ross Island on Antarctica. It was a hasty but the only feasible decision in those demanding circumstances. All the hands on board had rallied behind the captain’s decision.

The problem with decisions is that howsoever prudent they might seem, only time tells what they are worth. I had taken a decision which was the most unreasonable to a common man like myself but was the only decision that I could have taken to satiate the Adventurer in me. It might have sounded strange to other reasonable persons but, curbing my true calling of being one with nature, sitting in the plush office in a swanky business suit was suffocating. Just the thought of being out there in the open seas excited me. But for all these years I had tried to live someone else’s life.
Another wave banged against the ship. I clung onto the railing of the upper deck with my life jacket and survival kit. The collision with the rocks could happen any moment now. Just a few seconds and forces of nature would decide my fate.

By choosing the open sea over solid land, had I bartered life for death?

You live truly ,only in the face of death. You face your deepest fears and get acquainted with the ‘real you ‘. This was what I wanted to do. This was my dream.
Was it a wise decision?

I smirked, as the next wave came crashing over me.

Lede er igangværende hen til københavn

2010-03-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

I experienced a mixture of feelings on Saturday. Woke up early since i had slept really early the night before . Thought about taking a nature walk around campus. It turned out to be an amazing decision for i witnessed the glory of nature bestowed upon the WIMWI campus. After the winters the trees around campus are getting laden with new leaves. The symmetrically planted trees near the entrance with their black branches and light green colored leaves just looked amazing. To top it off the sunset from various locations along with the play of brush strokes of various hues ranging from orange to blue across the sky was mesmerizing. The weather was cool which exacerbated my pleasure of having hot 'moti chai' outside the campus gate.

In the afternoon i attended the allocation for foreign exchange seats and was lucky to get Copenhagen Business school. But after looking at the foreign allocation list a few not too happy thoughts cropped in my mind. A few weeks ago i had applied for various clubs and events for the post of organizing member. At IIMA club coords are chosen who in turn choose their team . During interactions just about everyone told me that since you are going on exchange it would be difficult to do the work and so number of exchange people is limited in the clubs. I thought it was fair enough.

But after looking at the list of outgoing students i found a significant overlap. Now i know my capability , at least in organizing events , so it was kind of a shock. I tried to find reasons but then i realized how pointless it is.

One of the best things about JEE or CAT(not this year :( ) is that by and large it is a level playing field. You are judged according to the same parameters as everybody else. But all this objectivity goes to the dolphins( Hitchhiker's hangover) once the human angle comes into play. Howsoever stringent the parameters might be one can never remove the inherent randomness originating from the complexities of the human mind. Also factors like favoritism, friendship and a range of other groupings ranging from country, religion to even your 'gali- mahaullah' comes into play. Add to this ,the preconceived notions which leave an indelible mark upon the decision making neurons of people.

As aptly stated by my Finance professor in class today " Life is not fair, you make the effort and somebody else reaps the benefits". The number of uncontrollable variables which influence our life (at least in the materialistic sense)is huge. But then how does one live with this . How does one enjoy a peaceful sleep knowing that he is as good or even better than his boss ( or fellow students / co workers etc) but does not get what he deserves in life ?

A simple solution as suggested by a yogi is to realize that all this is maya (now don't get any naughty ideas ). Live in a detached manner, observe life and all its happenings as a meek observer. Enjoy the 'Raslila'. Since eventually all of this shall pass away. Do the 'Karma' and accept the results. Don't try to find reasons for all the randomness in this world. Accept that this is how it is .

Do i agree??? Guess ....

P.S: The title is in Danish :)

The value of a meal

2010-02-27T13:36:00.000-08:00

While eating my lunch today i realized how lucky I am . I do not have to worry about where my next meal will come from . I have numerous options in terms of what to eat. The food i get is hygienic (hopefully) and nutritious ( subject to the amount of adulteration of course).

Stumbled upon this video showing a cute lady demonstrating how to cook meals as she did during the great depression . I see people around me engrossed in the pursuit of worldly gains. Their happiness , contentment and just about everything else depends on how they can satiate their desires. I confess that i also belong to this category , howsoever i might try to remain detached . And it is fine since everyone is free to do what he thinks would give him/her happiness. Human race has progressed due to the ambition of restless souls.

But I feel that people forget the value of having this meal everyday. It is something that they are so used to that they don't think about it . Think of the millions across the world who sleep with an empty stomach and eyes brimming with tears.

We might feel that we are different than those not as lucky as us but are we really?

A street dweller sleeps with the hope that he will get his meal next day. A CEO sleeps with the hope that he will get his BMW soon.

Do things just happen ??

2010-02-20T16:32:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching a movie titled "A serious man " by the coen brothers. It is based on the Book of Job , where God tests Job's faith on him . There can be two interpretation , as i see it, of the movie.

The first one being that everything just happens. There is no deeper meaning, no rationalization . It's something like the fact that earth was created after the big bang because all the conditions happened to be there at the right moment. A slight variation and i would not be writing this.

The second could be ( in line with the actual Job story) that till the point the protagonist remains true to his religion he faces a number of grave problems but none actually materializes. And even if they do, he is in some way able to face them. But the moment he sways from the righteous path , as shown at the end , imminent catastrophic dangers happen.

What i want to ask is the relevance of destiny in our lives. What we are today or will be in the future , is the result of our actions alone or other factors . I know we are taught to work hard and do our best et al. But does the happenings in our lives, incidents around us have a more important role ?

What chance does a child born in abject poverty in one of the forgotten villages of India has ,even if he possess the same brain capacity as that of a nobel prize winning MIT physicist ?

Chaos at IIM Ahmedabad

2010-02-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

After an exceptionally pathetic operations surprise quiz on Friday , i was greeted by a misty Saturday morning. But soon the mist lifted to give way to a bright and sunny morning. A fitting start to Chaos, the annual national Cultural festival of IIMA.

Rushing to the Hospitality desk of the event i witnessed a huge crowd of students waiting to get their accommodation. This was to continue through the next 2 days with the maximum participation of out station students in a long long time at chaos.

Officially the event had started the previous evening with an exceptionally stimulating performance by Grammy award winner pundit Vishwa mohan Bahtt.

Over the next three days there were hoards of events full of color, music, creativity and fun. The Fashion parade by NIFT Gandhinagar and NID were just amazing. I was totally blown over by their creativity. Same was the case with the choreography performance by IITB and NID . The local teams of IIMA gave a commendable performance considering the short time they had for preparation.

But the best part of the whole event for me was the music. After such a long time i got to head bang to some metal in a live concert. The performances of the various amateur college bands , solo performances and finally by Outro , a delhi based band were awesome. The crowd turnout at the Sonu Nigam concert was tremendous.

There were some brilliant musical and street plays which culminated with the performance of the play scripted by Anuragh Kashyap starring Tom Altar . A number of informal events like pulsar stuntmania and MTV Wassup kept the participants enthralled.

All in all the, 3 chaotic days were among the best days of my time spent so far here at IIMA. Maybe it was due to the events ,the performances , the semblance of feeling that i was in college or just the fact that it was a break from the normal pressurized and competitive life at IIMA.

Whatever it might have been , IIMA makes you come back to your senses soon enough. How ?

Greeting the happily chaotic 1st years by a horrible out of course decision making quiz a day after Chaos ....

Reason, Logic and Love.

2009-12-18T09:00:00.000-08:00

On the esteemed day when my second article got published in the literary club newsletter of IIM Ahmedabad I ( don't know why so late) am putting down my 1st article which was written some 5 months back. :)

The train rambled on at its usual pace. It was one of those moments when you relive your childhood and experience the sheer joy of not having a single care in the world. Sitting on the steps of a train door at midnight seemed such a rare luxury now. The sensation of cold air brushing my face reminded me of all those impetuous journeys made during college days with friends. Sleepy villages passed by illuminated only by the light of the full moon flaunting its glory. It seemed perfect but nothing was perfect without her.

Fond memories flooded my mind. It had been a night like this. Only the three pink carnations picked up hastily before boarding the train were missing. It was difficult to tell whether the sweet smile waltzing across her face was more enchanting or the musical sound of her voice calling out my name over the din of the crowded railway station. I hastily hid the flowers in my backpack. It was a business trip after all. Whatsoever the state of my heart might have been, my mind prevented me from pouring out my feelings.

"But there is no logic in love", my heart pleaded.

"I hope you remember the agony that proceeded after following and believing the above proposition”, my mind reasoned.

Torn between conflicting emotions, I greeted her. We boarded the train and chatted for a while about the trip and the market situation. It was an overnight journey and we were supposed to report to our boss early morning. Even then we were up till late at night, chatting. Our conversation, as usual, flowed smoothly.

It was perfect. Our attitude, likes, dislikes values. But the ghosts of my past hovered over me. How perfect things are at first but the burden of time and reality slowly corrodes the very base of the relationship. Past cannot always predict the future but it surely can affect it, in both positive and negative ways. The latter was in progress now.

We decided to call it a day. She climbed on her berth. I could not resist and my heart got the better of my mind. I slipped the 3 carnations into her hands.

Coming back to reality, I went back to my berth. The compartment was dark and silent. I switched on the side lamp and looked at the most beautiful face I had ever seen. Maybe it was the ambience or the carnations or just me, 30 years ago. Whatever the reason might have been, I recollected the sound of those words.

“Thank you for the flowers. They are just amazing”.

“No problem, I picked them along the way. Good night. Sleep well”.

“Sweet dreams .Umm…. Manas , I think I am falling in love with you”.

I switched off the lamp and closed my eyes.

“I guess there is no logic in love after all “

Complicated

2009-11-22T13:39:00.000-08:00

When i was a kid just having a plastic ball was enough to make me happy. Now, to achieve the same level of happiness i guess i will require a number of intangible and tangible things which do not include that plastic ball.

As we grow old we widen our horizons . We start demanding and needing more . As taught in marketing ,we discover ( or made to ) our hidden needs. There is an old saying about the frog inside the well. He knows just about the well and has no idea about the outside world. This is , as taught to us , a bad thing . But can't we compare this frog to the kids who know nothing but are happier than the supremely knowledgeable human beings treading this planet.

I guess we start taking life and ourselves too seriously . We become the victim of our own needs. Needs which are supposed to bring happiness. Which in the short run do bring happiness but evaporate soon enough. Thus one is bound to slog hard throughout his/her life for that blissful state of mind. In the process we become responsible not only for ourselves but also for others. Then begins the cycle of compromises and subduing of aspirations.

But people will argue this is how life is. Hard , cruel and complicated.

Winter is Knocking on the Door

2009-10-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

Today, i felt the coolness palpable in the air. Also i noticed that a few rooms in the dorms had the ceiling fans turned off. I guess the signs are on the wall . But by what i know ,winters in Ahmedabad are nothing compared to the ones i have had the pleasure( or displeasure brrr... ) of experiencing in Delhi/Noida/Lucknow.

I guess i will have to start the yearly ritual of putting out warm clothes and blankets in the sun. I have not exactly enjoyed winters but they have their own charm. Like the pleasure of cuddling in the Rajai with a nice book and a coffee or walks on roads wrapped in low hanging fog.

It also reminds me of a few cherished memories like studying through the chilly nights in my hostel trying to complete the 5 units of syllabus for the semester exam the next day . Going with the hostel gang in auto/bus to sit for the paper or with manish on his scooter/bike. Last minute cramming and revisions standing in the bone numbing cold outside the center, then trying to warm hands so as to put down all the globe on the answer sheets.

Or going to school on my cycle in the fog with my blazer pockets filled with dry fruits given by mummy. The morning drills by the sports teacher to prepare for the annual day . Sitting or playing football in the sun with friends. Setting up bonfires from wood and dry leaves of the guava trees in my home and studying for tests which immediately followed the winter vacations.

Memories are all i possess and thank god they are all beautiful.

1st Diwali at IIMA

2009-10-17T14:04:00.001-07:00

I always get things in life which i may not expect to get but i truly require. The same continued today i.e my 1st diwali away from home. I was quite apprehensive and a bit sad thinking how this diwali would be. This was exacerbated by some not too great happenings lately and by the dread of such unwanted happening to follow.

This is in tune with the happenings near last year's diwali. I was feeling probably my lowest in a long time a day before diwali but diwali brought in loads of happiness , cheerfulness and luck ( which saw me through the portals of IIMA).

It turned out to be a Deja Vu of sorts this year as well ( and i hope the luck part will follow in the crucial weeks to follow) . The day, rather the afternoon started with bike rides and shopping ,through the length and breadth of ahmedabad , for crackers, colors for rangoli, diyas , flowers, sweets and candles . It was fun and tiring but helped me in having a first hand look at the enthusiasm of Gujarati shoppers .

Then came the making of the rangoli which was mostly done by my dorm mates and photo session. Then i did a solo puja on my desk . Then spent some time roaming around campus looking at other dorm rangolis and lighting. D13 won and they truly deserved it with their theme of Ramayana and awesome anime style rangoli of lord Ram.

Then came the best part --- crackers. I never thought it would be so much fun but i guess my enthusiasm seeped into my dorm mates who broke all shackles of IIMA seriousness. It was amazing. The duration of my laughter in those 1-2 hours was more than what have laughed till now at IIMA, and that's whole 4 months.

Now i am experiencing the sad feeling that diwali is over which i have every year. Also i missed mom n home a lot although it was mitigated . And i am hoping that this diwali brings me luck like last year. :)

Stumbled Upon

2009-08-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

After being sad whole day due to my WAC grade and the general pessimism i am experiencing these days i stumbled upon this blog.

http://www.forgottenbookmarks.com/

It is such a refreshig idea. The blog contains pictures of bookmarks , notes and scribblings left by people in old used books and notebooks. The author of the blog works at a used books store and comes across these "Antiques" frequently.

It reminded me of my feelings which i have inadvertantly when i witness some beautiful spectacle of nature like a sunset , water bodies, hills , tee plantations, meadows, lush jungles e.t.c . The feeling which makes me say out loud that "There is more to life than just the materialism which forms the better part of our lives ".

Getting back to books, which i truly and dearly love reading, smelling and collecting. I also happen to scribble thoughts on pages and margins . Make bookmarks out of Old photos and post cards. Write on each book a short history. When did i buy it or who gifted it to me or anything diffrent associated with that book.

Memories. Sweet memories.

Reading Tinkle and Raj comics in afternoons after lunch . Swapping them with friends. Telling stories . Fighting over them . Taking them to school and reading them during classes . Miss those days. Days when my whole life was not about competition, grades, placements, cv and getting bullet points on my resume. When i was actually busy having a wonderful childhood.

Why did i ever grow up :(

Life should stop in class 9th and start over again .

Why worry about grades and materialism when there is so much more to life .

Learnings at IIMA

2009-08-08T01:18:00.000-07:00

Statistics class

"The role of a manager is like a catalyst "

Quite aptly said .

I remember reading somewhere

"9 out of 10 people in the

world work for the 10th.I am training to be the 10th "

Scamper.. Breathe.. Run

2009-08-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

The title of the post pretty much sums up my life right now . I am currently in the shortest and the sweetest phase ; Breathe. This phase commenced post 5 traumatic days of WAC submission and Mid Term exams. WAC stands for Written Analysis and Communication , a course which aims to make grammatically sound managers out of us with expertise in report writing. Sounds cool right. It sounded to me also when i heard about it .

But i beg to differ after 2 such submissions and one peer evaluation. Writing a blog or cooking up stories is one thing but writing a report on some actual case which is supposed to affect some business and its stakeholders is another. We are supposed to analyse the problem , consider the options objectively and find the best one. Alas all options look the same to the harried students and one has to twist and interpret facts in ways to make the one of his choice (or was it the choice of the guy whom i met in mess today) as the one most delicious with a cherry thrown in at the top.

Somehow the report submission landed on our already taxed heads a day before the Mid Terms. Human Rights guys. Are you listening . Thus began my 5 sleepless nights . It was a group assignment so me and Pankaj started it at 11 in the night . Watched videos , talked and ordered and ate food from CT(Canteen in IIM Ahmedabad). Then the alarm bells rang and we ended up with a good enough report and 1 hour of sleep the next day . WAC run.. Um will tell about it later.

Then began the actual hiking. The mid terms . Studying for subjects is a zero sum game at WIMWI. You study one and the other is left out . The same thing happened with me and i was fairly comfortable in the day 1 exams but was totally at my wit's end in the next two.

The fear was so much that i actually went to a seniors and looked at last years stats about the number of failures . Thankfully they were minimal ,0-3 , in a batch of 300 +.

Having this assurance i struggled with them and eventually managed to do OK ( that is pass ) , i think . Another easy paper and my 5 day long ordeal ended. The exam got over at 10:30 and we got our next slot books at 1 :) .

This slot has 2 of the most important subjects - Marketing -1 and Financial Markets. I hope their Profs are good.

The exams ended and the whole campus was gripped and is currently suffering from the T NITE fever( along with an actual flu which has actually got a lot of victims on campus ). More about T NITE after its completion .

The highlight is that i spent one of the best moments at IIM Ahmedabad last night. Out of impulse i left my room at 1 in the night and strolled through the campus . The campus is so beautiful , serene and calm . The buildings here actually reassure you that you belong here . It gives you a sense of achievement. So many times i have confronted this question in the past month whether i belong here or not . But last night i knew the answer. And the feeling was amazing. I hope i carry this feeling always with me throughout my life .

The full moon looked splendid from the spot in the parking where i sat . The weather was perfect with cool breeze carrying the sweet scent of wild flowers . The feeling in my mind was satisfying and the thought of someone whom i was missing was pleasurably painful in my heart :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12hAb71QbhY

Love Vs Friendship

2009-06-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

Love is like the wild rose-briar,
Friendship like the holly-tree
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms
But which will bloom most constantly?

The wild-rose briar is sweet in the spring,
Its summer blossoms scent the air;
Yet wait till winter comes again
And who will call the wild-briar fair?

Then scorn the silly rose-wreath now
And deck thee with the holly's sheen,
That when December blights thy brow
He may still leave thy garland green.

---Emily Bronte

Read this Poem recently.Rather Read it to someone over a phone conversation.

How true the poem seems.I have experienced both the above emotions and i know how momentary love can be.How one can spend days at end thinking about someone all the time,dreaming about her,seeing her face in everyone one lays eyes upon,cooking up sweet visions about the future,taking her name without any reason with the hope that there will be a momentary connection between their souls.

But how easily this feeling goes away and one starts to pursue reason and putting the feeling in the category of crush and infatuation and what not.

Friendship on the other hand is something which is always there.You might not dream or think about your friends but somewhere deep down inside you know there is someone to fall back upon.

I think one of the main reasons for this is that in Friendship vis-a-vis Love, Expectations are lesser.

I guess as people say that true love lasts forever, i can just imagine how blissful that state will be when you combine the madness and passion of love with the longevity of friendship.

I am sceptical about whether this state truly exists except in the writings of romantics and poets.But if it does, well, the people experiencing it must have boundless luck.Wish me luck ;)

Whats the Point

2009-06-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

What is the point of sludging through your life only to end up getting old.And once your body and mind start dimnishing in capacity and strength become unwanted,ill treated,mocked at,misunderstood and a slave of your diseases.

Shopping.....

2009-05-30T05:19:00.000-07:00

"Consumerism is all about selling stuff to people which they don't need but are made to want by fancy marketing".

I guess this one statement makes me shop over cautiously and judging the value of a good over and over again before buying.This might sound to be a very prudent habit but it does create a lot of problem specially for my family members who take me out to shopping.

Yesterday went to buy a watch.But i guess i was living in stone age with respect to the price range of watches which i expected.I thought would buy a Sports Titan/Times watch with a max budget of 3000Rs.All my hopes came crumbling down like i hope mayawati's government will in the near future.I mean all decent watches started at that range.

The ones i liked: 2 Timex,1 titan and a Tommy Hilfiger ranged from 5000 to 9000. So being the ever so cautious and judgemental buyer i came back (for the 3rd time in a space of 7 months) without a watch. Sighhh.....

But today i again went as a gallant viking to conquer the castle(here, watch ;)) and again came back empty handed.Found a Titan with a great dial but an equally disappointing wristband@3350 INC.

This was not the end though since i managed to blow up more than 10k of my mum's hard earned money in other items.

1)A business Suit from Peter England

2)A shirt from Peter England

3)Nike Air Shoes

4)Nike Floaters

5)Nike Pajamas

6)A belt from Big Bazar

Frankly speaking.I am quite satisfied and happy today.It's been ages since i bought so much in a small span of time without thinking about its value and worth and prospects in future and this and that... And it felt great.

I hope i can show the same immaculate form while buying a watch next time.Wish me luck...

P.S : All this shopping is for my journey and subsequent stay at IIM Ahmedabad which will be my address for the next 2 years :)

Light... Darkness...Hope....

2008-10-27T12:23:00.000-07:00

How often has it happened to you.

Life seems to be going along at immaculate pace like seasoned actors playing the perfect roles in a smooth screenplay in a prodigiously crafted script.The apt word to describe your existence and current state of being is --- Insouciant.

Then suddenly out of oblivion ---WHAM, a thunderbolt strikes you and sends you twirling into a downward bottomless spiral.A spiral where the depth is directly proportional to the misery,hopelessness and loneliness you experience.

Subdued by the dual burden of present problems and emotional attachment and memories of the glorious past,the process of fighting back is exacerbated.

So what does one do....

A possible answer can be summed up in the following lines from the poem "ULYSSES" by Lord Tennyson.....

We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven,
that which we are, we are,--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

My First Love

2008-10-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

I was barely 8 when i saw her.She was all dressed up in the latest trends of that season.I am thankful to my maa for uniting us.I marvelled at her color,her curvaceous body which seemed to fit into my hands as if she were not a discrete entity,rather my extension.

Though Maa introduced her to me, she got rather touchy about my growing involvement with my Sweet Heart.What Maa thought would be a casual friendship,a few hours of fun and frolic, turned into something beyond the sense of space and time.Our Relationship transcended reality.We spent hours on end ,together,sometimes snuggled together in bed, sometimes sitting on the bench beneath the gulmohar tree in my school.Sharing laughs and anguish,victories and defeats.Revelling in our common dreams , visiting far off planets,making new friends,flying through space..

It was brilliant.But I guess Fate had other plans ....We were separated.. It was the worst feeling i had ever experienced in my life.. Her disease won.. She lost.. We lost....

I tried to send her to her place of birth,Japan, with hope and tears in my eyes..That was the last i saw of her..

All i got was a regret letter and a final Photograph of her... Some Entities give you calmness and happiness even after their death... She was a perfect example..

I still Dream of her.. She left me but not her Spirit... I loved her and will continue doing so..

Forever and ever..

My love.. My first Hand Held Video Game.......... ;)

Competition

2008-10-01T09:22:00.000-07:00

I just had a conversation with a dear friend studying in one of the best MBA Colleges of India.The Internship week is coming near and so he was busy giving the final touches to his CV.The problem with being among the best is that whatever you might be or have achieved in your life , is mitigated by someone or something.

As they say "There is always a bigger fish".

So this friend who has superb Academics and Extra Curricular record is tense about his CV and the competition and whether he will be selected by the Companies.

Is there any end to this.Personally I like competing.The Sweet taste of victory one experiences is Brilliant but i feel it is also suffocating.

What is more important .Competition or being happy?

Until you know that your neighbour drives a better car than you ,you would not start thinking about it.People say that don't look what others have.But such things do affect us,the magnitude varies from person to person.

Somehow i am not a very ambitious person, or that is what i feel , so somehow after such thoughts creep into my mind i find ways to pacify myself into being content with what i have got.

But the point is , what is all this competition leading us to.Yes competition brings out the best in us but what is the limit of competition. When is it enough to secure something and say yes this is it.Now i have proved myself and I am out of all this competition.

Sadly in today's Capitalist Economy with Cut Throat Competition where Running is the key to survival this case looks just jike a figment of Imagination..

Though i say all this , I am also running the same race.

But the problem with such "Rat Race" is that even if you win you still are a RAT...That too running even after reaching the finish line since the track is circular and there is no Beginning and no End....

The Ride Home

2008-08-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

I looked out of the Train Window and saw streaks of Bright White light flashing between voids of darkness.”The Story of my Life” I reflected.

I looked around and tried to decipher the faces that i saw.The stories that each one of them held back.The joys ,the apprehensions ,secrets.What would it feel like to read ones mind.Would that be a liberator , knowing everything or a daunting burden of being the uninvited keeper of people’s thoughts.

Whatever it might amount to,it would help me cut through the mess of Office Politics.
Yes,Office.The place I wanted to be my whole adult life.A place which took so much more away from me other than just effort, a part of my life.And now after all those years or hard work and sacrifice this is what its all come down to.A sense of Frustration and Emptiness.
Is this what life is?Is this what i wanted to be?

“Long day mate ”,asked the person sitting beside me in his Obnoxious Australian Accent.Wait , can he read my thoughts.Is it possible?Oh my God, is it so bad.Can they see it on my face?
“Yes, a really long day”.I grinned back.Faking a fake smile that i have mastered .
Am i the Victim here or the Tormentor just playing role of the Victim to understand him better.Have i not turned into what i fear most.

“Get a grip”,Control your emotions”.”Its just the exhaustion that's playing tricks on you”.The Hot Shot Manager in the Swanky Business Suit inside me shouted.Was it really inside me?
Was I really the person whom i project myself to be.Or has the Image Subdued the Subject.Was I the Prisoner of my own Reflection.

And then I saw her.

The Train Halted at my Station.I kept standing ---- Staring--- Thinking---- Dreaming--- Living.

..... to be continued.

Life .......

2008-08-10T09:43:00.001-07:00

There arer 3 types o cases which one encounters in life.

1) You have complete control---- Studies,Career,What are you going to eat :)

There is a chance of Fate and Luck affecting it, but still you are in control.

2)You dont have Control---- Death, Accidents , Coming into wealth by of an Old Relative ;)

3) uYou hav partial control---- Relationships, love, Team Events.

And-------

You are 100% accountable for 1)

0% for 2)

and 0-100% for 3)which depends on a lot of factors.

To be happy and do the right things in life for the cases---

1)Make all the efforts that are possible according to your capability.Enjoy the Journey and accept the end if you have given your best shot.Else try again.

2)Since you don't have any control,don't worry and stop thinking about what's going to happen ,what could hav happend and what did not.

3)Think ,analyse and then decide if it's in your control or not.Then Make effort or accept the reality and let go off the Past.

Disillusioned,Confused and a bit Sad.

2008-08-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, i am all the above ...The reasons--->

1)I had planned my future course of action according to my joining in october but till date there is no info about either Perot Systems or Infosys.I guess whatever you might plan in your life , you can never be confident enough.

2)I am supposidly preparing for CAT08 since 2 months but most of the preparation has been in planning what i will do , without actually doing anything.I waste whole day sleeping,thinking and wasting time.

3)I motivate myself to study every other day and i am really great motivator but my most promising talents of sleeping and lazyness get over all that motivation.

4)I am still confused as to what i want to do in my life except reading,sleeping,eating,watching movies,playing video games and headbanging.I have asked this question time and again but hav come out with Zilch each time.
I think being Really Great at one thing is far beter than being good at a lot of things.

5)My Mock Scores are going down in a negative difference A.P.

6)The Ghosts of my Past are making frequesnt appearances and i am not unable to Subdue them.

7)Somehow all these problems are creating confusions and problems with people who are close to me.

In short I am pretty much Messed up...
But I will get over it and will find a way i am sure sice-----"Winners don't give up,They Find a Way"

Are we Always Alone??

2008-07-24T02:39:00.000-07:00

I happened to read an article in The Times of India today under the Speaking Tree Section of the Editorial.Here is the link http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Opinion/Lord_Kirshna_in_my_wallet/articleshow/3270241.cms

It actually got me thinking.I m a single child but have always had the company of friend.Thus i have never felt lonely or alone in my life.Also being a very lazy person always ready to doze of helps:)
But the point is,throughout the day when one is surrounded by people at work,home he doesn't generally feel alone , unless ,one is of the type who are "Bheed mein bhi akela".But when one goes to sleep(even with his beloved,not in the wrong sense ;)) he is alone.To himself.No one to disturb him,no one to say anything.People who fall asleep within nanoseconds of lying down are lucky since they don't have to be alone in this fashion.But most of us ,specially in their progressive years ,are not so lucky.

At this what does one feel.Lonely??
Change is the only constant think in this world is aptly said.We love our family and friends and of course girlfriends but will they be there for us always.I actually shiver at night when such thoughts creep into my mind.What will I do?

I find solace by the fact that i will still have my books,music,movies,sports etc etc .But as the article said eventually one has to be alone.According to the article,one should love God the most since he will be with you forever.I am not a Cynic nor an Atheist but Isn't that a way of Believing that you are the only one who Will always be with you.

What is God.A Manifestation of Perfection.One who is Strong,Invincible,Powerful.Who gives courage and happiness and bliss.Are these not the qualities of what just about everyone aspires to be in his life.
We are gifted with people who take care o us when we are born.Then along the way we meet people and bond with them but all along the only person who is constantly with one is himself.

People say there are Soul mates.I guess i am not lucky since i have not found mine in my 23 years of existence.But even if there is ,will he or she be with you forever?

People fret and complain and cry over the argument that no one loves me,no one understands me.
But the one person who loves you the most and who understands you more and better than anyone else in the world is ......

The one who stares at you every day when you look into the Mirror!!!

2008-07-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

Its been Centuries since i wrote.Well i have partly been busy but the
main reason is that i am LAZY.Anyways, after reading the blogs of Sid
and Rupali i got pumped up to write something myself.I cooked up like
thousands blogs in my mind but never got around writing any of them.My
Laziness , he he :).

I saw WALL.E yesterday.Its an animated movie by
PIXAR, and arguably the most sensitive animated movie ever.Whats it
about.A fairly unconventional topic, but conventional in its own
sense.Its about love , between Robots.Now how is it possible for a
robot,a machine,to love.Well lets say its science fiction,there are no
limits to imagination.

Its about love and how a robot evolves emotionally and learns to love
and to make friends (here a cockroach which has yet again survived the
destruction of earth).

Its about saying the name of your beloved in the most sweet voice,
like a jingle.Like it's etched on your mind forever,a part of your
whole being.Just the sound of her name brings so much happiness to you
that you want to shout out of joy how much you love her.How saying and
writing her name gives you the assurance that she is there for
you,waiting for you,thinking about you and loving you.

Its about the most basic expressions of love.Holding hands.About the
feeling of being one with her.The feeling that you are connected to
her and nothing can separate you from her.The feeling of longing and
despair when you are far away from her and can sacrifice anything for
just a simple touch of her hands.

Its about the extreme happiness one experiences while watching the
most breath taking natural beauty in the arms of your beloved.How
simple and common things can give so much pleasure if one is in the
right company.How time flies away and you wish you could be there
forever.

Its about Music and how ,as Shakespeare has said ,Music is the food of
love.

Its about dancing and how it becomes sheer poetry in motion when you
are with you beloved.

Its about the Courage,effort and sacrifice one has to make to save
ones love.

Its about the future of mankind and its doom due to the abuse of
earth.A future where men have to depend on robots for everyday
chores,where they can't read on their own,they can't walk,can't even
talk properly.A future where one does not know what love is.
And how Robots teach men to love,again.

And its about hope.

Go watch it whenever it releases in India, i sure hope it does.

Eyes.........

2007-12-22T07:54:00.000-08:00

Eyes tell a lot of stories , stories of Love, Fear, Hope,Apprehension.Sometimes you can look into the soul of a person just by looking into his eyes, at other times you get bluffed by them, one might be holding back gallons of tears but wont give away a hint of that.

I have seen stories in peoples eyes, but there is one which keeps reverberating in my mind.

It happened on a train trip i made from mugalsarai to arrah. These are places in Bihar and U.P. I must have been 14-15 years old and was part of a wedding company.I was travelling in the General compartment( The train only had that, No A/C, Not even Sleeper).The train ambled along at a pace comparable to the pace of development of the tribals of orissa.

At each legitimate Station and twice as many illegitimate ones(Heard about Chain Pulling...? ) a sea of people came aboard.Most of them Labourers.

I was lying on the upper bench( I say bench because that's what it was, made of pure wood) when i encountered those eyes.

He must have been 12-13 years old, was of medium built and could have easily mingled with the crowd.But he possessed one thing that set him apart(atleast for me) from everyone else,,,, his eyes.

He was staring straight at me with his dull yellow eyes . Yellow because that's what keeps coming to my mind.What was the story behind them , Of sorrow , happiness, dreams, lost opportunities or of hope?

Were they the eyes that generalized the lives of Indians, more specifically the Indians living below the poverty line.The story that all of us know but conveniently forget .The story of a India which still lurks in the shadow of the Brilliance of India's Economic Growth.

I can quibble about whats wrong and what should be done .But does that make any difference unless i go and do something about it?

Meanwhile the boy keeps staring at me, maybe he senses something, but what? . I look at him now and then for the better part of 2 hours , he stares back without blinking even once.

The Trains comes to a halt , in the middle of nowhere, between obscurity and nothingness, a part of the Train's space is vacated by the crowd ,as one being, with those yellow eyes leading the way !!!!

I am not a Poet

2007-09-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

This is Something i Composed during ...ummm.... my Thinking Phases..
I still have those phases but now ,thankfully, they are all constructive and help me discover myself better .....................

When i leaf through the battered Index of my life,
I come upon an Entry which brings feelings of Missed Chances,
Incorrigble acts of Lousyness,
Atrocious feeling of Over Confidence,
Aimless Wanderings to Prove pointless Egos ......

The Ghosts of my Past have come to Haunt me,
They are Creating a success Story out of it,
I am bowing down to them,
Will i be ever able to Sub-due them....

The Fear of Defeat Motivated me to Try harder,
but is'nt Fear the Worst Diseaes,
Wil it Cripple ,
Mutilate and Exfoliate my Spirit,
...........

P.S: The Ghosts are mostly Annhiliated, but some shadows remain !!!

Is Means more important than the End ??

2007-09-02T01:13:00.000-07:00

The Question that cropped into my mind today is --- "Is the journey important or the destination " , "Winning or the effort that one puts in ", " The final Destination or the Path that one treads".

What exactly is life , Is it the constant variation of happiness and sworrw with small and large destinations mingled, is it a path which one has to tread to meet with the inevitable date with "Death " or are we serving some purpose in our life. Whatever it might be we always have goals and aims , aspirations and dreams . Some are able to realize those goals, some are not , but eventually what do we have .

Memories , Vague sights and sounds in our minds, bitter sweet feelings that we associate with our actions and inaction .They say that every end is a new beginning , then whats our destination . A resting place to think over from where we are coming and where we ought to go , or rather to cherish the moments that we have had till that destination.

People think that they will get happiness after doing some big thing or reaching their goals or finding true love , but if thats so then our moments of happiness must be limited. Comprising of the few goals that we were able to achieve.

Is that what life is for.For those few moments or a constant feeling of happiness.

If that latter is true then the point is proven that that Means are more important. But then can anyone be really happy when one keeps failing to reach ones destination . Or is the combination ??

I say , however naive i might be , its the human spirit . The spirit of not giving up , the spirit of looking into the face of adversity and doing what is right, the spirit of exploring ones limits , the capacity of happiness .The will to go on when you are in the most impossible situation in your life . Eventually does it really matter if you were able to get through the problem or the contentment that you put in your best , you had your chance and you gave your best shot . Refusing to give up without a fight .

One of the most inspiring writers "Shri Ramdhari Singh "Dinkar" " said that "The worst thing that can happen to a person is to realize at the end of his life that he did not act in the right way or backed down because he was not courageous enough ".

Celebrate the Human Spirit .......

Cheers............

My Infosys Interview

2007-06-23T00:14:00.000-07:00

This one is not meant to help all you budding Infocians in your endeavors to make it to one of the companies whose name is Synonymous with India's Economic "Coming of Age”. With a marked Global Presence , Annual Revenues of US$3.1 billion(Fiscal 2007) with a market capitalization of over US$30 billion and over 75,ooo Employees Infosys is Undoubtedly A shining Arrow in The Quiver of the Indian IT Industry.

The Story starts at 8:35 A.M when I woke up, with the help of a full fledged kick by one of my hostel mates. It took 5 minutes to realize the gravity of the situation , the reporting for the Interview was 9A.M, the floor was abuzz with frantic movement of Students amidst comments of Good Luck and last minutes Checks(Hey don't forget your resume or the sacred flower that your bhatinda wali mausi gave to you for good luck).

So I hastily got ready and left the hostel. The Reporting was at JIIT Noida.By the time I reached JP ,my sms inbox was full with messages like --- Where are you, It has started , you are gone man,Jao ja ke so jao ... u get the idea...

Anyways I finally managed to reach the waiting room, full of my college mates all formally dressed up. Guess they should call it "The Torture Room " , just look at the anxious faces and nervous movements of Students, or "The Gossip Room " , just heard they are asking who is the 15th president of India , i think mayawati , nahi yaar I heard kalam , nops he is patudi , what are you mad he is a former cricketer . Then out of the blue some wise guy comes up and states that there have been only 11 Presidents till now... opps.... or they asking to count the number of buttons on your shirt without looking down ,, suddenly the room is bustling with numbers , I have 5, do they want the ones on my cuff as well???

In between Seniors keep coming trying to maintain order in the Room, Please keep quiet, what will the interviewers think, They won't take anyone, Think about the Reputation of JSS, You are not listening,arre koi sun kyo nahi raha, Kuch nahi ho sakta tum logon ka ,main abhi interview khatam karwata hoon (haan bhai aap senior hain jitne bhi chahein jokes maar sakte hain :) ) .......

Anyways, finally a very frustrated guy comes in and announces my name. I get up check my File for like the billionth time in 15 minutes, Straighten my Tie (Thank you Surabh Sir for the tie) and amble off...

After another round cross checking of my name, photo (ok I look like chamba ka dakoo in the photo but it's not my fault the local studio walllah did not have photo shop) et al I am asked to wait outside the interview room.

This part of my Interview is called "My first Creeps" (I hope there is no copyright issue with The Pursuit of Happyness , sorry Will anyways).I tried to recall the answer of "So Tell me about yourself" which I had so thoughtfully prepared, it came out, but in incoherent spurts. Suddenly the whole thought of actually giving an interview dawned on me , oh my god ,, mummy kya hoga mera !!!!!

I knocked on the door and went in, my file in my right hand a broad smile dancing on my face. Asked permission and sat down (Thank god at least did these things right).

Me: Good Morning Sir

Interviewer: Good Morning, You are Manas right.

Me: yes sir.

Interviewer: so manas, tell me about you.

me: My name is Manas , Student of JSS , CSE , 3rd yr ,, Acads , Sports , Quizzoc, Programming, Hobbies, blah blah blah ,,

interviewer:Whats your surname?

me:Sir ,Gupta.

Interviewer: Why don't you apply it then.

me:It was like that since my school days, there never was a sir name, only manas.

interviewer:why?

me:Sir , my parents must have put it down that way .

interviewer:you did not ask them why?

me:It never really concerned me enough to ask.

interviewer:But there must have been some reason ?

me:Sir i was not inquizzitive about it.

interviewer: That means you are not inquzzitive?

me:No sir , on the contrary i am very inquizzitive but not in this case.

interviewer:Are you hiding something from me?

me: No sir absolutely not , it was not such an important issue for me.

interviewer: But ??

me: Sir there is "not always a reason for every thing".(mark these words)

interviewer:So what do you read?

me :I used to read a lot of fiction earlier but now have moved to philosophy and non fiction now.

interviewer: What Book did you read last ?

me: The FountainHead by Ayn Rand.

interviewer: What did you learn from it?
me:Sir , Man is an end in himself."Reason should be the only judge of man's action and decisions".

interviewer: But now you are contradicting yourself that there is not a reason for everything

me:Sir I.....

interviewer: Yes Manas Am i not right

me:Yes sir but..

interviewer:That means you don't follow your principles and you contradict yourself ?

me: (baap re baap , ab toh gaya main , kya bolon ,, kuch nahi ho sakta , beta bure phase)
Sir
we don't live in a perfect world people, don't always base their actions on reason, but i believe that Reason should be the only judge and i try to follow it always in my life...

interviewer:ok ok , how much cement do you think was used up to make this room.

me: ( what , yeh kya question hai , ok ok stress interview , he's gonna test my analytical skills )

Sir last year there was a wall being constructed at my home, so...

interviewer:no no , i don't want any co relations

me:sir the wall was of the same height and type as it is....

interviewer:No Co-Realtions...

me:(Soch bete kuch toh soch ) Sir , i see that there are about 30 rows of bricks on the wall

interviewer:ummmm 30 r u sure?

me: oh sir 20 (blank look ) ,,, 15 sir

interviewer: and?

me: and sir 25 columns (again the blank look) , 20 columns . And sir i think the bricks are (Myself Pretending to solve quantum mechanics differential equations)
3 inches by 1.5 inches and 2 inch in height, and so if it takes 200 grams per brick , and total of 15*20*4*200,, that would give about 120 kgs.....

interviewer: Where do You live here?

me: Sir Hostel.

interviewer:Describe it and all ?

me:blah blah

interviewer:Any 5 things that you want to change in your hostel .

me: Mess food, Authorities , Generator.......

interviewer:What have you done about it ?

me:There commeties for that and all.

interviewer:But the situation has not changed

me:(Ab yeh kahan se aa gaya ) , Sir the situation has improved..

interviewer:That proves that you are INEFFICENT.

me:No sir , I am not.

interviewer:Are you trying to say that i am lying.

me: Sorry sir , but i never implied that. What i meant is that since i came in the first year the food has improved and blah blah blah

interviewer:But you are Inefficient and You can't get the work done. Why should we take you?

me:Sir i am a team player and have got leadership skills, i am good at acads, programming blah blah

interviewer:How can you say that ..

me:blah blah blah (Though all reasons were amply justified)

interviewer: But i still think that you are inefficient..

me: Blank

interviewer: Do you see that small balcony there ?

me: Yes sir , I see it.

interviewer:Whats the use of it here , in a classroom of an Engg Coll?List 5?

me:Sir there are classes going on in that opposite building , so if the students create chaos the teacher may report that (How Dumb)

interviewer:Thats no reason

me:But sir if there is fire or something then also he may report it

interviewer:ok ok next

me:Sir for fresh air , in case of emergency people can escape (From 3rd floor ,, how??) , Improves Beauty (Wah wah),Cleaning the windows since it would be easier to get to them from the balcony ....

interviewer:( Looks Malacious ) Do you see those pipes up there on the wall?

me:(This an Interview right?) Yes sir

interviewer:What are those for?

me:Sir ,looks like the A.C Duct to me.

interviewer:Nice talking to you Manas, anything you would like to ask ?

me:Sir, there is a research project going on at Infosys with collaboration with MicroSoft , Would i be allowed to work there?

interviewer:I can't assure you that since you are not selected (What !!) as of now i mean , But it will depend on the company policy , blah blah

me:Ok sir, Thank you

interviewer:Wish you good luck.

Finally that got Over .I was not sure what to tell my friends, i had kept my cool but was not sure whether i had talked sense or gibberish...

Whatever i thoroughly enjoyed it ....

The Result----->> After all that I ACTUALLY MADE IT ......

Happy Birthday

2007-06-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

Well, of course it's my birthday.So i decided to give myself a gift.

Freedom is what i propose to bestow upon myself.Freedom of Thoughts and Expression , of Ideas, Views and Action.

Man was born free and everywhere he is in Chains : Rousseau

How true,are we really free?.Are we what we Believe we are?.Are we the masters of our own lives or is it just an Illusion.Are we mere Actors who personify the Roles assigned to them?.Views , actions and Thinking performed to the tune of an Unknown Hand?. Do we really have choices in our lives?.Why are we Here?What is our Purpose?

Are we Prisoners trapped in the Relentless Cycle of Birth and Death.

These are some of the Questions that i have been putting to myself but whenever i try to untangle them i plunge into the depths of an unknown Oblivion.Without any exit, the doors leading to Gateways. The Gateways leading to an Infinite Labyrinth of Random Thoughts without any End or Begining.